Keegan-Michael Key Quotes

If you look at any successful skit comedy show, ever, there is that format of introducing you to the player in the beginning, and then going on to see those sketches.

You hold precious what you create for yourself in your life that makes you comfortable.

I'm racist against non-black people.

There's a sketch where we're playing two terrorists in a cave, and my terrorist is very frustrated as to why we haven't flown a plane into a building in 13 years.

I have always, or for the most part, identified myself as a biracial person.

Being a melting pot is what I think is great about being American, and also that we get to do something that other people don't get to do, we get to be a hyphenate. That's a good thing.

You can not have comedy unless people are behaving badly. You can't have it.

The audience loves to figure things out. They love it when a performer leaves a trail of bread crumbs for them, and they get to participate in the comedy.

If I could just get over my issues of wanting people to like me.

I have this little thing that people call Keegan-ese, where I don't speak English words at all. I just say stuff like, "You gotta toish the doish and you gotta maloish the hoish."

My father has passed away. He was African-American. My mother is white. So I was adopted by a couple that was of a similar dynamic as my biological parents.

Everybody puts on airs, regardless of race.

I'm adopted, so I didn't know my father, but apparently he was pretty tall.

I get overwhelmed when I approach things intellectually.

For me, as a child, I certainly thought that there were more black people in the world than white people.

I'm tall and thin but not strong, so you're either an athlete or you're funny.

Surprise is not humor. I think that there can be a fine line there.

There's a thing called the 'One Drop' theory in African-American culture, which is if you have one drop of black blood in you, you're black.

There is nothing more dangerous on planet Earth than a black wife.

If you take something like the slave-auction sketch, the warmth of the light gives it a crisp 12 Years a Slave look. And your eye tells your brain, "I should be taking this seriously."

The fact of the matter is, you can't do comedy unless someone is behaving badly. Otherwise, it's not a comedy.

We share plates [with Jordan Peele], and we also very often will sit in the corner and kind of speak in our own language.

I want people to say, "Oh my God, I'm laughing out loud at television."

[The rumor that Leonardo DiCaprio on set was raped by a bear] was as silly as Lady Gaga bumping him or moving his arm out of the way [at the Golden Globes]. People straight be bored.

[Adoption] could turn you into an exquisite comedian. Ask Richard Pryor's ghost.

We've caught people watching us, and I'll look at them and I'll go, "It's just us. It's just our thing. It's just what we do."

You could figure out at least 80 percent of the context and meaning of a text if people used punctuation, and we wouldn't have had to write our sketch.

I grew up watching British television because I lived so close to Canada.

When you say to somebody, "I'd like to recommend a book to you," you're typically talking to a person who is willing to learn, grow, or change.

Do what you love in your community.

There is no top. You are never going to reach the top if you go for success. That way lies madness.