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Words aren't good enough for a lot of things, but we have to try.
Taking a solemn oath and sticking to it casts everything in a different light and infuses the ordinary with significance. It can change a person more radically than any drug or many years of therapy.
With you I understood that pleasure is not something you give or take. It's a way of giving yourself and calling forth the gift of self from another person.
Generally speaking, though, Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one.
During my first few weeks in Italy, all my Protestant synapses were zinging in distress, looking for a task. I wanted to take on pleasure like a homework assignment, or a giant science fair project.
Most successful people chose the path and did the things in their own way, against all the rules and guidelines, but we are everyday told to follow the rules to be a successful person.
Often, vegan advocates assume that a person's defensiveness is the result of selfishness or apathy, when in fact it is much more likely the result of systematic and intensive social conditioning.
We think we can control our lives, but our lives control us. And everything that touches our lives controls us. People have less power than they think they do. It's just the reactions we control.
Happiness, to me, was no different than Mom's paprikalaced domino bars: something that looked sweet until you took a bite, and then made you want to vomit.