Ian Holloway Quotes

I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark.

Managing a league club is like making love to a mermaid... you should always be aiming for a top half finish

You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.

There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth.

Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.

I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I've ever seen and yet they couldn't have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets!

My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman or a referee or even a football manager and that's the truth.

This club needs an impetus of energy - but I just feel tired to be honest. I'm worn out.

Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon.

I might be in a bit of a Skoda garage rather than a Mercedes garage, but I am telling you some old bangers don't half polish up great.

Sepp Blatter and all of them lot Mr Platini I know he was a good player but he aint very good at what he does, I don’t think. I think he’s useless you can quote me on that.

My old trainer used to tell us not to blast, but to caress the ball whenever we took possession. If the ball were a woman... she would be spending all night with Berbatov.

It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.

The dietician is going to get rid of that when he comes in. Although, first, we've got to get a dietician.

Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.

I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear.

I feel like a steaming cow-pat - or a car that's clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey.

Roy Keane's like a shark. He has those eyes. You don't know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you.

My ceiling's broken, my car's got a puncture and we've just lost two matches. But I've got my health and I'll ask the big man upstairs why he didn't give us a point.

I am more than happy at Blackpool and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me - I'm like a bad rash and not easily curable.

He's going to be what?! Oh for God's sake. Sir David Beckham? You're having a laugh. He's just a good footballer with a famous bird.

I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season!