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Harriet Lerner Quotes

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Harriet Lerner Quotes: "We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy."

We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all."

Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.




Harriet Lerner Quotes: "We cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same predictable pattern."

We cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same predictable pattern.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others."

Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.




Harriet Lerner Quotes: "If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard."

If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others."

Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability, weakness and competence in a balanced way."

An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability, weakness and competence in a balanced way.




Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person."

Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "In long-term relationships ... we are called upon to navigate that delicate balance between separateness and connectedness ... we confront the challenge of sustaining both--without losing either."

In long-term relationships ... we are called upon to navigate that delicate balance between separateness and connectedness ... we confront the challenge of sustaining both--without losing either.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first."

If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us."

Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them."

The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.




Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Love alone is never a good enough reason to marry."

Love alone is never a good enough reason to marry.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm."

Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to."

Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "We need to hear the sound of our voice for what we think and need."

We need to hear the sound of our voice for what we think and need.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth."

Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself."

It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "We'll always be disappointed if we believe that we can plan for a peak experience and make it happen. True joy can't be anticipated or planned. It just strikes."

We'll always be disappointed if we believe that we can plan for a peak experience and make it happen. True joy can't be anticipated or planned. It just strikes.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Although the connections are not always obvious, personal change is inseparable from social and political change."

Although the connections are not always obvious, personal change is inseparable from social and political change.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "When you can't see yourself objectively, you won't see anyone else objectively, either."

When you can't see yourself objectively, you won't see anyone else objectively, either.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself."

The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Don't count on the power of your love or your nagging to create something that wasn't there to begin with."

Don't count on the power of your love or your nagging to create something that wasn't there to begin with.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships."

Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to stop trying to be helpful."

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to stop trying to be helpful.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Pretending can be a bold form of experimentation and inventiveness. In pretending joy or happiness, we may discover or enhance our capacity for it."

Pretending can be a bold form of experimentation and inventiveness. In pretending joy or happiness, we may discover or enhance our capacity for it.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self."

Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing."

The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife."

Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Feeling inadequate is an occupational hazard of motherhood."

Feeling inadequate is an occupational hazard of motherhood.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "The more we seek exclusivity in friendship, the more it becomes obligatory and the less likely it is to fulfill the wonderful vision of what true friendship can be."

The more we seek exclusivity in friendship, the more it becomes obligatory and the less likely it is to fulfill the wonderful vision of what true friendship can be.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Fear is a message - sometimes helpful, sometimes not - but often conveying critical information about our beliefs, our needs, and our relationship to the world around us."

Fear is a message - sometimes helpful, sometimes not - but often conveying critical information about our beliefs, our needs, and our relationship to the world around us.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "We all fear change, even as we seek it."

We all fear change, even as we seek it.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words."

Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "What initially attracts us and what later becomes 'the problem' are usually one and the same."

What initially attracts us and what later becomes 'the problem' are usually one and the same.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "People marry with a deep longing that their partner will tend to their wounds, not throw salt in them. Honor your partner's vulnerability."

People marry with a deep longing that their partner will tend to their wounds, not throw salt in them. Honor your partner's vulnerability.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Feeling essentially superior to other people is as sure a sign of poor self-esteem as feeling essentially inferior."

Feeling essentially superior to other people is as sure a sign of poor self-esteem as feeling essentially inferior.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different."

If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his."

You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to."

The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Your children are not little mirrors reflecting back the good or bad job you've done."

Your children are not little mirrors reflecting back the good or bad job you've done.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible."

The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Telling a true story about personal experience is not just a matter of being oneself, or even or finding oneself. It is also a matter of choosing oneself."

Telling a true story about personal experience is not just a matter of being oneself, or even or finding oneself. It is also a matter of choosing oneself.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while."

It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses."

Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Being in touch with our bodies, or more accurately, being our bodies, is how we know what is true. Harriet"

Being in touch with our bodies, or more accurately, being our bodies, is how we know what is true. Harriet



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "As long as we can feel hope, there is hope."

As long as we can feel hope, there is hope.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers."

Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers.



Harriet Lerner Quotes: "It's remarkable how many couples can precisely describe their particular pattern of painful fighting, and claim to be helpless to change it."

It's remarkable how many couples can precisely describe their particular pattern of painful fighting, and claim to be helpless to change it.