Harriet Lerner Quotes
deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive.
As many have observed, it is easy to tell a lie, but it is almost impossible to tell only one.
We commonly confuse closeness with sameness and view intimacy as the merging of two separate I's into one worldview.
Fear has never helped anybody make good choices. It leads to clinging when we should be walking.
If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.
Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another.
the body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely.
Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.
No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan but to have any meaning or viability at all a life plan must include intimate relationships.
Our society cultivates guilt feelings in women such that many of us still feel guilty if we are anything less than an emotional service station to others.
There’s a widespread belief that if you have solid self-esteem you don’t need outside affirmation and praise. This is patently untrue, by the way.
