David Quotes

Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.

It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.

The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?"

Horrible date all through high school and college. Here's an impression of me on a date in high school. Come on, chug it!

I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.

But one thing the New Age folks and those who pursue alternative spiritual visions need to be aware of is how easily we can become and at times in my experience are like the religious right.

I think my cheerfulness keeps my writing from sinking into the depths of melancholy, while the darker side keeps in check any literary silliness I might be inclined toward.

I do think poetry needs to invite the reader, especially when there are so many other distractions while reading.

When people and animals die, they stay with us in our minds.

Although I'm a very emotional man, I just can't have blind faith, I have to find out for myself.

Perhaps the whole world is actually a banquet, to which every living thing is invited. First you come as guests: then eventually you're on the menu.

So now the challenge is to imagine a different world where our wealth is in human relations and the things we do together, and we learn to live in balance with the rest of nature.

What about our children and grandchildren and their children and grandchildren? Do we not want them to live healthy and happy lives?

Global trade has advantages. For starters, it allows those of us who live through winter to eat fresh produce year-round. And it provides economic benefits to farmers who grow that food.

Even meeting Kyoto targets barely makes a dent in what we have to achieve.

Humanity is facing a challenge unlike any we've ever had to confront. We are in an unprecedented period of change.

Many scientists and economists also say putting a price on carbon through carbon taxes and/or cap-and-trade is necessary.

Creating a decent pop song is a challenge - and occasionally, once in every decade - it's kind of fun to do that.

I'm obsessed with books.

I knew that I had to find my own voice, both figuratively and literally.

During the lifetime of Japan I became very neurotic, very paranoid.

When you rest on your laurels is right when you have the risk. It exists for every company, no matter how big.

For us, whether the market is skewed from a bubble perspective or not really is mitigated by staying focused on what we do best.

I always like seeing people transforming themselves, in whatever way that might be, and a different accent is part of that.

Logically there is nothing new to say about the New. Or maybe it's just a problem of articulating unfamiliar perceptions.

Always play for the worst case scenario..If it is the best you'll win anyway

Loudspeakers should be made to be destroyed and... disposable.

Maybe it's whiner's fatigue, but I'm getting tired of hearing about how hard it is to start a company and be a CEO. It's not that hard.

I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it.

I haven't put much effort into my personal life and blithely believe it will turn out all right in the end.

Definitely I love women, I love being around women, I find them incredible and intoxicating, and I've never had that feeling I get with women with a man.

I think most people that do comedy write for themselves. I don't think there is any other way you can do it, really. Otherwise it would be quite cynical.

Social satire has been around since people have been around.

Reality always outstrips fiction. Whatever you make up, something more incredible always pops up in real life.

There's a sort of magic and music to comedy. Some words, some numbers even, are funnier than others. A Caramac bar, for instance, is funnier than a Milky Way.

American culture is kind of an international culture, isn't it? British culture is a bit more unique. I think funny things are sort of funny around the world, really.

Writing for radio really focuses the mind, because you can't rely on thinking "Oh, just pull a funny face at the end of this sketch." You've got to try to work on the words.

I don't know what I'll be like when I'm 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman.

I can't see why anyone would want to be in politics because you get so much criticism.

No more watching that show Small England or whatever it's called where those two idiots dress up as 'laydees'. It's a bad influence.

I have always liked shows that have laughter in them.

Ricky Gervais would have you believe otherwise, but Sacha Baron Cohen is the most successful British comedian in the world.

We sort of expect to see men in women's clothes. It's part of our culture. The key thing is, it has to be done quite badly.

I'm not a political thinker, but I've just always thought of myself as a Labour supporter. I was a great fan of Tony Blair. He sent me a letter before I swam the Channel to wish me luck.

I don't have a lot to share with other men. My heart sinks when I get into a taxi and someone starts talking to me about football.

I haven't traditionally been a family entertainer.

TV has lost a lot of its self-confidence as its power has been eroded by the internet.

We've got 12-year-old boys dressing up as transvestites.

It was very exciting to see Alan Sugar, so I think I've peaked with excitement for the evening, because I'm a massive Apprentice fan.

That's what I like about acting. You don't know where you'll be in year.