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Alonzo Bodden Quotes

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Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "I like psycho chicks... Yeah, you hook up with a psycho, you're gonna learn something. First thing you learn is how to sleep with one eye open."

I like psycho chicks... Yeah, you hook up with a psycho, you're gonna learn something. First thing you learn is how to sleep with one eye open.



Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "We had one idiot put a bomb in a shoe, and now everybody's got to take their shoes off? Where's the bra bomber at? I say, if we've gotta wait in line, let's make it fun for everybody."

We had one idiot put a bomb in a shoe, and now everybody's got to take their shoes off? Where's the bra bomber at? I say, if we've gotta wait in line, let's make it fun for everybody.




Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "A joke is either funny or it's not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh, that's what I do. I don't start a focus group to see who got hurt by the joke."

A joke is either funny or it's not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh, that's what I do. I don't start a focus group to see who got hurt by the joke.



Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "I have fantasies of burning down an insurance company just so THEY have to make a claim."

I have fantasies of burning down an insurance company just so THEY have to make a claim.




Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "I was on the highway - I saw the scariest thing in the world, man. I saw an Asian driving an SUV. Really, I just drove my car right into the guardrail, figured I'd save him some time."

I was on the highway - I saw the scariest thing in the world, man. I saw an Asian driving an SUV. Really, I just drove my car right into the guardrail, figured I'd save him some time.



Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "I wish airplanes were more like elementary school with someone up front telling everyone to sit down and shut up."

I wish airplanes were more like elementary school with someone up front telling everyone to sit down and shut up.



Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "I grew up in the suburbs. I'm an angry suburban nergo. I'm bad in, like, Starbucks. I'll hurt you over a frappuccino."

I grew up in the suburbs. I'm an angry suburban nergo. I'm bad in, like, Starbucks. I'll hurt you over a frappuccino.




Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "Nothing good ever climbed up the side of a boat."

Nothing good ever climbed up the side of a boat.



Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "Every day theres something new. Something's going to destroy us all. Then it disappears."

Every day theres something new. Something's going to destroy us all. Then it disappears.



Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "Women like jewelry. They're like racoons: show them some shiny stuff and they'll follow you home."

Women like jewelry. They're like racoons: show them some shiny stuff and they'll follow you home.



Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "I wasn't always a comic, I used to do honest work."

I wasn't always a comic, I used to do honest work.



Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "I ride because there’s nothing like in the world. It’s a passion. It’s something I absolutely have to do and I can never imagine not doing it."

I ride because there’s nothing like in the world. It’s a passion. It’s something I absolutely have to do and I can never imagine not doing it.




Alonzo Bodden Quotes: "I could always make people laugh."

I could always make people laugh.