When Alexander the Great addressed him with greetings, and asked if he wanted anything, Diogenes replied "Yes, stand a little out of my sunshine."

He has the most who is most content with the least.

We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.

I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?

In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face.

Plato had defined Man as an animal, biped and featherless, and was applauded. Diogenes plucked a fowl and brought it into the lecture-room with the words, "Behold Plato's man!"

I am Diogenes the Dog. I nuzzle the kind, bark at the greedy and bite scoundrels.

He lit a lamp in broad daylight and said, as he went about, "I am looking for a human."

It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours.

I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.

One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings

In the past, only some of the males, but all of the females, were able to procreate. Equality is more natural for females.

Marriage is something you have to give your whole mind to.

The future is the past in preparation.

Fortitude is the marshal of thought, the armor of the will, and the fort of reason.

I'm a guy's guy. I don't comb my hair unless I have to, and I don't use lotions or fancy shampoos.

In a weird way, it's much easier, when I don't have to worry about being a writer, to just worry about the director job, which is really fun.

If I had, say, a tall, amateur male lead living on the campus of a rural college (Six Years), the next book might feature a short, cop who lives in the heart of Manhattan (Missing You).

The one reality science cannot reduce is the only reality we will ever know.

I've always had to prove myself to people growing up. I had to show them that I could do this and I could do that and paying no mind to what the critics said.

It is difficult to be a good noncommissioned officer. If it had been easy, they would have given it to the officer corps.