We are going to lose the war on terror because all of our agents are tied up investigating the GOP.

It never gets old, being told you are a traitor and in league with the terrorists because you disagree with current administration policy.

For an omnipotent and omniscient being, God has made some really lousy earthly staffing decisions.

The best leaks always take place in the urinal.

The free market punishes irresponsibility. Government rewards it.

Ignore what other people think. Most people aren't even paying attention to you.

Please don't look for me. You won't find me.

You have everything but one thing: madness. A man needs a little madness or else - he never dares cut the rope and be free.

You haven't partied until you've partied at dawn in complete silence with Buddhist monks.

My own approach to literary problems is very like the one Dr. Johnson's blind housekeeper used when she poured tea-she put her finger inside the cup.

I had the intention of becoming a theologian...but now I see how God is, by my endeavors, also glorified in astronomy, for 'the heavens declare the glory of God.'

I love coming to work. I never have a bad day.

I do not love thee, Sabidius, nor can I say why; I can only say this, "I do not love thee."

The matter with human beans," the BFG went on, "is that they is absolutely refusing to believe in anything unless they is actually seeing it right in front of their own schnozzles.