Things shape themselves before my eyes just as a I draw them.

I have one aim, the grotesque. If I am not grotesque I am nothing.

Advertisement is an absolute necessity of modern life, and if it can be made beautiful as well as obvious, so much the better for the makers of soap and the public who are likely to wash.

I have always done my sketches, as people would say, for the fun of it... I have worked to amuse myself, and if it has amused the public as well, so much the better for me.

No language is rude that can boast polite writers.

It takes only one man to make an artist, but forty to make an Academician.

How few of our young English impressionists knew the difference between a palette and a picture! However, I believe that Walter Sickert did - sly dog!

People hate to see their vices depicted, but vice is terrible and it should be depicted.

Stand-up will always come first. I've been doing it for 22 years, and nothing compares to that connection you have with the audience. It's euphoric.

From the beginning, this culture - civilization - has been a culture of occupation.

It does not cost anything to dream. Spend your time enjoying your big dreams.

I was a much better writer than I was an athlete. My college coach told me flat out, he said, "Deford, you write basketball better than you play it."

Capping the size of American banks won't eliminate the needs of big businesses; it will force them to turn to foreign banks that won't face the same restrictions.

I just want to cuddle with my Lion and give him all the love nobody in the world has given him but me.

You do this because you like it, you think what you're making is beautiful. And if you think it's beautiful, maybe they think it's beautiful.

Brown for first course, white for pudding. Brown's savoury, white's the treat. Of course I'm the one who's laughing because I actually love brown toast.

If you put your mind to doing whatever it is you want to do, good things can happen.

In life you throw a ball. You hope it will reach a wall and bounce back so you can throw it again. You hope your friends will provide that wall.