The idea of going back to college scares me, and I didn't even go. I went to college for one year, two semesters. If you add up the total time, I probably didn't even go one semester.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

You can't run away from trouble. There ain't no place that far.

The only condition that miracles will come is after you have done your best.

Do not lose your inward peace for anything whatsoever even if your whole world seems upset.

But there's a juicy artery in your groin," he said after a pause to regroup, his voice as slithery as a snake on a slide. "Don't you talk dirty," I told him. "I won't listen to that.

Bombieri's Law: of Finance: Profits are on paper, losses are in cash

Boycotts tend to make the shunned more popular.

The principal industrial excellence of the English people lay in their capacity of present exertion for a distant object.

But it was too early to know: there were always more pages to go, more words to be written, before the story was over.

This is the simplest of all thoughts, that Death must come when we call, although he is a god.