President Barack Obama has stood watch over the greatest job loss in modern American history. And that, my friends, is one inconvenient truth that will haunt this President throughout history.

We will strengthen our security by building missile defense, restoring our military might, and standing by and strengthening our intelligence officers.

I like PBS. I love Big Bird ... But I'm not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from China to pay for it.

I'm not going to wear rose-colored glasses when it comes to Russia, or Mr. Putin.

I have never once regretted missing a business opportunity so that I could be with my children and grandchildren.

My wife drives a couple of Cadillacs.

I have some friends who are NASCAR team owners.

I am in favor of stem-cell research. I am not in favor of creating new human embryos through cloning.

Isn't it fitting that so many of those who have contempt for the private sector will soon find themselves back in it?

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what.

I'm not familiar precisely with what I said, but I'll stand by what I said, whatever it was.

THE GAP: Closed-Mindedness can create it, Narrow-Mindedness can widen it, Open-Mindedness can close it, Like-Mindedness… Will Bridge It!

As I did, there, in perfect condition, to be admired by five sets of wondering eyes, was an enormous, glistening, moist, chocolate cake.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Some comedians love their characters. I don't fall in love with mine. In fact, I get tired of them very fast. You have to be willing to throw it all away.

Love has a hundred gentle ends.

With longer life spans and better health and education, many feel that giving birth to a baby a mere couple of decades after they themselves were in the cradle is a little premature.

I hate the idea that you shouldn't wear something just because you're a certain age.

It is not too soon to provide by every possible means that as few as possible shall be without a little portion of land. The small landholders are the most precious part of a state.

Of two equivalent theories or explanations, all other things being equal, the simpler one is to be preferred.

I've never been without a dog. I've made trips across the country with a dog. I've been in that angst of loneliness, where you're really alone in the universe, except for the dog.