Perfume companies ought to bottle the smell of crisp bacon. Forget pheromones. I’ll bet a woman with a little spot of bacon grease behind her ears would attract every male within a five-mile radius.

They say God never gives us more than we can handle, but sometimes I think God has overestimated what I can take.

Women have always been the strong ones of the world. The men are always seeking from women a little pillow to put their heads down on. They are always longing for the mother who held them as infants.

Every man's work, pursued steadily, tends to become an end in itself, and so to bridge over the loveless chasms of his life.

Who wouldn't want to catch a guy in a bear suit?

But I'm not afraid of the skeletons in Julie's closet. I look forward to meeting the rest of them, looking them hard in the eye, giving them firm, bone-crunching handshakes.

I've always had a soft spot for comic books.

We are not required to go through [Jesus'] trials, but we are required to be willing to go through them. To prove that we are willing to do so, we must go through our own trials and remain faithful.

I don't think you ever understand your life - not till it's finished and probably not then either. The more I live the less I seem to understand.

You try to keep life simple but it never works, and in the end all you have left is yourself.

If that lad makes a First Division footballer, then I'm Mao Tse Tung.

Perhaps immortality is a gift of heaven rather than the result of some human effort.