Our names are labels, plainly printed on the bottled essence of our past behavior.

The test of enjoyment is the remembrance which it leaves behind.

There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.

When they come downstairs from their Ivory Towers, idealists are very apt to walk straight into the gutter.

Don't tell friends their social faults; they will cure the fault and never forgive you.

The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the circulation of the blood.

Eat with the rich, but go to the play with the poor, who are capable of joy.

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.

Happiness is a wine of the rarest vintage, and seems insipid to a vulgar taste.

What I like in a good author is not what he says but what he whispers.

Style is a magic wand, and turns everything to gold that it touches.

It’s easy to demonstrate how progressive and open-minded and loyal you are when it costs you nothing.

I’ve trusted human women before. Twice. The first died, and the second paid a terrible price and despises me. Never, ever again.

I used to hate looking in the mirror. I've grown up into myself and now I'm happy with the way I look.

Vegas will always be Vegas.

Competition is for dogs and horses.

In politics, purity is the enemy of victory.

Making cartoons means very hard work at every step of the way, but creating a successful cartoon character is the hardest work of all.

There are moments when you can only stand and stare, watching the world forget you as you remove yourself from it - when you overcome it and cease to exist as the person you were.

Because obviously the whole purpose of putting records out is purely and simply to make money.

I really can't break away from wearing black and leather!