One thing is for sure, a World Cup without me is nothing to watch so it is not worthwhile to wait for the World Cup.

Messi does not need his right foot, though. He only uses the left and he's still the best in the world! Imagine if he also used his right foot... Then we would have serious problems!

We usually say that you cannot become a legend before death. But I am a living legend

He's a lucky guy Cristiano, he always gets first row tickets to see Messi win his awards.

Arsenal could have happened, as everybody knows, but I would not do a trial. Who do you think regrets that more - Arsene Wenger or Zlatan?

Kosovo is Serbian, only if my mother is a Virgin

I like being the one who makes a difference. On the pitch, I always try to create a special situation.

Arsene Wenger asked me to have a trial with Arsenal when I was 17. I turned it down. Zlatan doesn't do auditions

I think I'm like wine. The older I get, the better I get.

Wherever I go people recognize me, call my name, cheer for me. But there are names no one cares to remember, that no one cheers for: the 805 million people suffering from hunger in the world today.

I like Balotelli: he's even crazier than me. He can score a winner, then set fire to the hotel.

Often religious education teaches us to conform and creates a psychological prison which is difficult to escape.

That place is turning into the Hotel California.You know, you can check in, but you can never leave.

A fox should not be of the jury at a goose's trial.

I want you all to line up in alphabetical order according to your size.

People will come up to me and try and be secretive and say, 'Can you do the Gollum voice for me?' And I'm like, 'Are you kidding? It's 8:30 in the morning on the Victoria Line.'

The public regards lawyers with great distrust. They think lawyers are smarter than the average guy but use their intelligence deviously. Well, they're wrong. Usually they are not smarter.

The Romans had to kill him because he was threatening the order because he had a great deal of personal power.

I don't do normal. I have a reputation to uphold. (Thwonk)

Albert Brooks is definitely one of my biggest influences, for sure.

The pointless ferocities of intellectual life shock businessmen, who kill only to eat.