One night last summer, all the killers in my head assembled on a stage in Massachusetts to sing show tunes.

Like Lincoln, I would like to believe the ballot is stronger than the bullet. Then again, he said that before he got shot.

Being a nerd, which is to say going too far and caring too much about a subject, is the best way to make friends I know.

The modern mocha is a bittersweet concoction of imperialism, genocide, invention, and consumerism served with whipped cream on top

My lips are chapped from the winds of change.

While I gave up God a long time ago, I never shook the habit of wanting to believe in something. So I replaced my creed of everlasting life with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

The whole point of Louis Armstrong is that no one can really figure him out. There was a while where I thought you could try.

History is one war after another with a bunch of murders and natural disasters in between.

What are you hiding? No one ever asks that.

I no longer drink nearly as much as I used to but, still, my motto is Sine coffea nihil sum. Without coffee, I'm nothing.

You know, it's always good to have a synonym just for variety.

Love begets joy.Joy begets peace.Peace begets patience.Patience begets kindness.Kindness begets goodness.Goodness begets faithfulness.Faithfulness begets gentleness.Gentleness begets self-control.

We call it training. Not because we are training for Jiu Jitsu. We are training for life.

Men's brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.

Clothes can hide you from yourself but a bikini sure can't.

By the time you have perfected any style of writing, you have always outgrown it.

People never want to be told anything they do not believe already.

Honestly, I can't understand English poetry. Because I am not an English speaker, when I read it I never know how to read it in the right rhythm.

I am an expert in the 'art of the possible.'

Surfing teaches patience . On land, surfers cannot will a swell to appear. They have to wait for nature to make the call. So surfers wait . They keep their eyes on the horizon and they wait.

The Governor would serve a five-year term and be ineligible for reelection.