Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.

Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on

When girls walk home we put on lippy and makeup. We chat. Sometimes we pretend to be hunchbacks. But that is it. Perfectly normal behavior.

Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them.

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind badger.

I will not have him in my brain;there is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.

I've never had anyone say they love me before. Libby lobes me, that is true, but there is something a bit menacing about the way she says it.

What in the name of Hitler's panties and matching bra set was she talking about?

He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.

Dad has brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning! I said, 'Vati, why are you waking me up in the middle of the night? Are you on fire?

Mum said, "It is the thought that counts." And I said, "I know, which is why I am ringing the authorities right now. Anyone who thinks like she does should be locked up out of harm's way.

Many have referred to [Lewis] Carroll's rhymes as nonsense, but in my childhood world — Los Angeles in the '50s — they made perfect sense.

Such grief might be to them quite delicious, a delicacy.

No ONE MENTIONS YOUR TEARS, SADNESS OR SLOW DEATH! BUT, WE FEEL YOUR FALLEN TEARS, YOUR BEHEADED BODIES, YOUR RAPED DIGNITY!

If you conduct yourself as though you expect to be successful and happy, you will seldom be disappointed.

I'm amazed every time I come back to Vancouver at how much it's changed. You go away for a month and there's three more skyscrapers.

Only the fittest will survive.

To be joyous is to be a madman in a world of sad ghosts.

If all you're trying to do is essentially the same thing as your rivals, then it's unlikely that you'll be very successful.

I get a lot more abuse in England. That's just a general English attitude. I did the same thing to famous people. It's just your instinct.

Catch fire today! Make today the day you stop complaining and do something!