My mom, she wasn't like a baseball mother who knew everything about the game. She just wanted me to be happy with what I was doing.

You can never fall in love with a team.

My timing’s a little off. But I’m about to get hotter than Jamaica in the middle of August.

Life is a challenge that you need. There's things in life that are going to throw you into the ground, but if you learn how to get up, that means you are not a quitter.

Everybody has something to prove each year. Everybody has a responsibility in this game. Even the batboy.

I'm not thinking home run, I just want to put a good swing on the ball. When you go looking for home runs, you get off of your swing. So you don't think of homers when you go up to the plate.

They pick me [to be tested for steroids] every time. I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I'm a big guy, or what, but all I know is all they are going to find is a lot of rice and beans.

It doesn't matter if we are down 3-0. We just have got to keep the faith like that one piece you were saying in "Keep on Going," because the game is not over till the last out.

This is our f---g city. And nobody is going to dictate our freedom.

I'm a winner, I play to win, I want to make good things go on around me.

I just want to play baseball.

A mystical symphony permeates my senses and a holy lullaby embraces me.

In a world of insanity, nothing is sacred. It's an insane world, nothing is sacred.

I'm not anxious to be anywhere other than where I am right now.

This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.

You are what you love. No? You are, completely and only, what you would die for without, as you say, the thinking twice.

If companies tell us more, insider trading will be worth less.

I won all the blue ribbons for canning at the state fair.

A resolution to attend theatres or operas is an absolute disqualification for Holy Orders.

People will believe thousands of different lies in succession rather than confront a single scintilla of truth.

Women are put in a position of feeling embarrassed about their bodies. It's so ridiculous, but also astounding - we have to always be apologetic about having created the human race.