It takes a great man to give sound advice tactfully, but a greater to accept it graciously.

The test of enjoyment is the remembrance which it leaves behind.

There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.

When they come downstairs from their Ivory Towers, idealists are very apt to walk straight into the gutter.

Don't tell friends their social faults; they will cure the fault and never forgive you.

The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the circulation of the blood.

Eat with the rich, but go to the play with the poor, who are capable of joy.

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.

Happiness is a wine of the rarest vintage, and seems insipid to a vulgar taste.

What I like in a good author is not what he says but what he whispers.

Style is a magic wand, and turns everything to gold that it touches.

It is not all books that are as dull as their readers.

And sometimes being in love is not enough to make it work.

Don't forget what I discovered that over ninety percent of all national deficits from 1921 to 1939 were caused by payments for past, present, and future wars.

It is only as we develop others that we permanently succeed.

Continuous eloquence wearies. Grandeur must be abandoned to be appreciated. Continuity in everything is unpleasant. Cold is agreeable, that we may get warm.

Accent your positive and delete your negative.

You, sir, are a romantic, and I'm afraid the condition is incurable. -Eponymous Clent

I'm not a very good writer. I'm working at it.

Man is no match for woman where mischief reigns.

Universe will re-arrange itself accordingly.