It's a consensus that Trump, as the nominee, guarantees the election of Hillary Clinton. I'll guarantee you there's not a single Donald Trump supporter who thinks that.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Ignorance is in each cell of our body and our consciousness. It's like a drop of ink diffused in a glass of water.

I'm not sure I can think of any scenario more enjoyable than making 55,000 people from New York shut up.

I prefer no one to teach me. I prefer to swing on my own.

We lay out our lives in a narrative we understand, like a movie, but are you enjoying making it or are you wondering who's watching my movie.

Merely to stuff the child with a lot of information, making him pass examinations, is the most unintelligent form of education.

The truth is straight ahead, so don't burn yourself instead.

I had always been heavily influenced by stand-up.

You do have to continue, as you grow as a human, checking in and going is this what I want? Am I giving away things that I don’t want? Who am I and what do I want to keep doing?

When change itself can give no more, 'T is easy to be true.

How troublesome is day! It calls us from our sleep away; It bids us from our pleasant dreams awake, And sends us forth to keep or break Our promises to pay. How troublesome is day!