In death, you get upgraded into a saint no matter how much people hated you in life.

Like Lincoln, I would like to believe the ballot is stronger than the bullet. Then again, he said that before he got shot.

Being a nerd, which is to say going too far and caring too much about a subject, is the best way to make friends I know.

The modern mocha is a bittersweet concoction of imperialism, genocide, invention, and consumerism served with whipped cream on top

My lips are chapped from the winds of change.

While I gave up God a long time ago, I never shook the habit of wanting to believe in something. So I replaced my creed of everlasting life with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

The whole point of Louis Armstrong is that no one can really figure him out. There was a while where I thought you could try.

History is one war after another with a bunch of murders and natural disasters in between.

What are you hiding? No one ever asks that.

I no longer drink nearly as much as I used to but, still, my motto is Sine coffea nihil sum. Without coffee, I'm nothing.

You know, it's always good to have a synonym just for variety.

If you can be Kind in the Land of Rudeness, you can be King in the Land of Kindness.

The minute you step away from the negative people in your life you will instantly see the beauty in your horizon.

We are the number one custom yacht builder in the world and my goal is to stay there

I specifically ordered Persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple Persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh.

For me, skinny is just a style of jeans -- not a goal.

They didn't break me. I broke myself.

Most comedians come from a dark past and have a lot of sadness.

I think that the 'laws of nature' are also prone to evolve; I think they are more like habits than laws.

Laying complements next to each other makes them scintillating, but mixing them produces a 'muddy' rendering of each color. The mud is good stuff.

I've served on five different juries, and many of them were bonkers in their own way.