If you see something you don't understand, smash it.

I'm not different for the sake of being different, only for the desperate sake of being myself. I can't join your gang: you'd think I was a phony and I'd know it.

A pale sun poked impudent marmalade fingers through the grizzled lattice glass, and sent the shadows scurrying, like convent girls menaced by a tramp.

If I had all the money I've spent on drink — I'd spend it on drink.

If you are normal, I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life.

I don't know what I want, but I want it NOW!

Five years ago I was a four-stone apology — today I am two separate gorillas.

I've never met a man I didn't mutilate.

Fear is the root of all courage.

Do you know what a Palmist once said to me? She said: will you let go!

Why can't I be different and unusual... like everyone else?

Knowledge can be borrowed but wisdom cannot because wisdom comes from experience.

I spend one evening with a handsome merman, and I become a silly mermaid with a crush.

Life is a classroom.

I hope people will find the book [Superficial: More Adventures from the Andy Cohen Diaries] a whole lot more than hollow.

I only go to mass when somebody asks me, but when I get in trouble I call for a priest.

If we wanted home truths, we should have stayed at home.

To believe all men honest is folly. To believe none is something worse.

It's curious that only in Washington can you spend $2 billion and claim that you're saving money.

It only took me six months to get a record deal, but it took me 20 years to have a hit.

No matter how lonely you get or how many birth announcements you receive, the trick is not to get frightened. There's nothing wrong with being alone.