I have a professional acquaintance whose recent eyelid job has left her with a permanent expression of such poleaxed astonishment that she looks at all times as if she had just read one of my books.

A home without a grandmother is like an egg without salt.

If you ever meet someone who cannot understand why solitary confinement is considered punishment, you have met a misanthrope.

I simply like guns because you can't shoot people without them.

I wasn't used to children and they were getting on my nerves. Worse, it appeared that I was a child, too. I hadn't known that before; I thought I was just short.

Writers who have nothing to say always strain for metaphors to say it in.

If we define a misanthrope as 'someone who does not suffer fools and likes to see fools suffer,' we have described a person with something to look forward to.

The more immoral we become in big ways, the more puritanical we become in little ways.

God may have loved the common people, but a trip to any shopping mall suggests that He made far too many of them.

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.

The future of work revolution begins one person at a time.

All politics is local.

(Man,) the glory and the scandal of the universe.

Irresponsibility breeds irresponsibility. The finances of government are so central. You'd think that would be pretty obvious.

I have a secret aspiration to be considered for a part where it doesn't matter what you look like to play it.

I wear a lot of black, knitwear, skinny jeans and very high heels. My mum used to work for a fashion designer making knitwear, so she knits me lots of chunky scarves, hats and gloves, which I love.

Love is not about property, diamonds and gifts. It is about sharing your very self with the world around you.

Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.

I think I do better when things are a little tougher.

I feel again a spark of that ancient flame.