Even writers need relief from words.

Like Lincoln, I would like to believe the ballot is stronger than the bullet. Then again, he said that before he got shot.

Being a nerd, which is to say going too far and caring too much about a subject, is the best way to make friends I know.

The modern mocha is a bittersweet concoction of imperialism, genocide, invention, and consumerism served with whipped cream on top

My lips are chapped from the winds of change.

While I gave up God a long time ago, I never shook the habit of wanting to believe in something. So I replaced my creed of everlasting life with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

The whole point of Louis Armstrong is that no one can really figure him out. There was a while where I thought you could try.

History is one war after another with a bunch of murders and natural disasters in between.

What are you hiding? No one ever asks that.

I no longer drink nearly as much as I used to but, still, my motto is Sine coffea nihil sum. Without coffee, I'm nothing.

You know, it's always good to have a synonym just for variety.

An oak tree is just a small nut that persevered against the taunts of doubt and fear.

It may not be pretty, but sometimes justice has to be hard to keep the rest of us straight and safe.

As long as I'm around playing baseball, it doesn't matter where I am, as long as it's not with the Yankees.

For one thing, I like to walk when I play golf. Now I don't walk the whole way, but I try not to be the driver when in a cart.

In so many areas of life, I'm a spaz and incompetent.

Your heart chakra is not in your physical body. It is in your subtle physical body, but it comes in contact with your physical body in this location.

True affluence is to not need anything.

If anyone wants to know the weirdest thing, it's getting your hair cut and seeing it on the news. Terrorists probably knew about my haircut.

My iCloud keeps telling me to back it up, and I'm like, 'I don't know how to back you up. Do it yourself!'

Don't let life affect your worship; let your worship effect life