Humor Quotes
That's it then. This is how it ends. I haven't even read Proust.
Just know I amNot there to catch youBut I am there for you
YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said.That's what being alive is all about.
Die, die we all pass away, But don't wear a frown coz it's really okay, And you might try to hide, And you might try to pray, But we all end up remains of the day.
One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans.
When I die I hope it may be said:'Her suffering was black, but her books were read'.
Nobody seems to understand that in such matters the tact and sympathy should come from the one who is about to die, not the poor bugger who has to take the news.
Adam pressed his hand to his face. Sighed. "Right. It's just that… He died. And I'm so freaking pissed off, I swear I'd punch him in the face if he were standing right here.
Do you know how wizards like to be buried?""Yes!""Well, how?"Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs."Reluctantly.
He was a dying man looking down on the surgeons trying to save him.
I'm a survivor, " I said. But I didn't think that claim would carry much weight in an obituary.
Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.
Sorry. I get attacks of quotitis every once in a while. It's a very rare disease with no cure. It usually attacks older people, and here i am afflicted with it at my tender age.
Cottage cheese, broken down into its simplest form, is milk that has been curdled to mimic the cellulite its consumption is meant to banish.
Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are staring at them that they do not eat as much and as frequently as they seem to.
Most sane human beings who are over the age of six usually act or react not as per what they genuinely feel or really think but in accordance with the expectations of those around them.
Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by our mothers, or vice versa.
Greed is a contagious mental illness without which civilization as we know it would not have been possible.
Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not all underdeveloped and developing countries look up to and aspire to someday be developed countries.
The last time everyone loved or at least liked everyone was when the world had a population of about 4.
In reality most human beings are not, to most human beings, more important than money.
Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the chocolate industry’s use of minors.
There is nothing morally wrong with buying stolen goods, unless you know that they were stolen.
Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of us who will never be or have not yet been pushed or pulled into old age.
As an unavoidable result of the inevitable loss of some physical and/or some mental abilities, many a man who has been alive for many years has become a boy again.
Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent.
Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.
Some people hate people who are overconfident, only because their overconfidence reminds them of their underconfidence.
A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain.
Boredom is probably more frequent and more tormenting if you do not have sight or hands.
In some cases, you can tell how somebody is being treated by their own boss from the way they are treating someone to whom they are a boss.
A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their partner, even if that is not true.
Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent.
Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice.
We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us.
Most human beings would have never been pained by the death of a human being if they had never seen a human being or pretending to be pained by that.
Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.
We are loved way more by some of the people who have not contacted us in the last twelve or so months than we are loved by some of those who contact us every twelve or so days … or hours.
We all have problems. Or rather, everyone has at least one thing that they regard as a problem.
Many a death was precipitated by the food, the job, or the medication whose main function was to postpone it.
The death of a billionaire is worth more to the media than the lives of a billion poor people.