Humor Quotes

Whether you think you're right or you think you're wrong. You're right.""If you think in pictures, write. If you think in words, paint.

There is always space in my life for a unicorn.(i.e. fantasy)

Walang matibay na relasyon kung buhay pa ang mga Kalapating mababa ang lipad...

In the middle of all the ordinary--something extraordinary shows up.

A man is known by the company he keeps not by the company he works.

It's time we allow our youth to de tangle life with ease.

I'm a happy person. If you want to be around me, you can either choose to be happy too, or follow the signs to the nearest exit!

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Smartass Disciple: Master, what is the secret recipe of your happiness?Master of Stupidity: If I tell you, there is nobody left to be made fun of.

Why sadness was created?So we could rest from laughing.

The face of a truly happy man seldom lacks smiles.

You know what Marshall needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.

Where else, " I will say, "does an old turtle crossing the path Make all the difference in the world?

Whatever one does, someone is always happy...then again, someone else is not pleased

(Can human beings change? The humor, and the sadness, of remarriage comedies can be said to result from the fact that we have no good answer to that question.)

Do not believe anything I tell you. Do not take my advice.

Do as I say, not as I do.

You should try to avoid using the words "should" and "try".

For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.

Most sane human beings’ chances of being alive in a thousand years’ time are a hundred times higher than their chances of being sincerely happy for at least ten consecutive days.

Even so have I given the womb of the earth to those that be sown in it in their times.

They that be born in the strength of youth are of one fashion, and they that are born in the time of age, when the womb fail, are otherwise.

Seeing thou hast now given me the way, I will proceed to speak before thee: for our mother, of whom thou hast told me that she is young, draw now nigh unto age.

Like as a young child may not bring forth the things that belong to the aged, even so have I disposed the world which I created.

What betrayed me? Was it my heart? Or my Soul?

Stand up upon the right side, and I shall expound the similitude unto thee.

As for the tokens whereof thou ask me, I may tell thee of them in part: but as touching thy life, I am not sent to shew thee.

Iniquity shall be increased above that which now thou see, or that thou hast heard long ago.

The land, that thou see now to have root, shall thou see wasted suddenly.

If the most High grant thee to live, thou shall see after the third trumpet that the sun shall suddenly shine again in the night, and the moon thrice in the day:

Blood shall drop out of wood, and the stone shall give his voice, and the people shall be troubled:

He shall rule, whom they look not for that dwell upon the earth, and the fowls shall take their flight away together:

The Sodomy sea shall cast out fish, and make a noise in the night, which many have not known: but they shall all hear the voice thereof.

There shall be confusion also in many places, and the fire shall be oft sent out again, and the wild beasts shall change their places, and menstruate women shall bring forth monsters:

One land also shall ask another, and say, ‘Is righteousness that makes a man righteous gone through thee?’ And it shall say, ‘No.

At the same time shall men hope, but nothing obtain: they shall labor, but their ways shall not prosper.

An extreme fearfulness moves through all your body, and your mind is troubled more.

After seven days of fasten so it was, that the thoughts of my heart were very grievous unto me- and my soul recovered the spirit of understanding.

Thou art sore troubled in mind for the people in the world’s sake: loves thou that people better than he that made them?

O Lord that bear rule, who may know these things, but he that had not his dwelling with men?

As for you, you're unwise: how may you then speak of these things whereof thou ask you?

Like as thou canst do none of these things that I have spoken of, even so canst thou not find out my judgment, or in the end the love that I have promised unto my people.

Behold, O Lord, yet art thou nigh unto them that be reserved till the end: and what shall they do that have been before me, or we that be now, or they that shall come after us?

I will liken my judgment unto a ring: like as there is no slackness of the last, even so there is no swiftness of the first.

Ask the womb of a woman, and say unto her, If thou bring forth children, why dost thou it not together, but one after another? pray her therefore to bring forth ten children at once.

She cannot: but must do it by distance of time.

How my adventures become your sins?

Go thy way, weigh me the weight of the fire, or measure me the blast of the wind, or call me again the day that is past.

What man is able to do that, that thou should ask such things of me?

It were better that we were not at all, than that we should live still in wickedness, and to suffer, and not to know wherefore.