Funny Quotes

What's the matter, fairy boy? Pissed because Chrys rather kiss me?" - Essence (Nymphs of Macedonia Trilogy #1)

I never hear about dear Mike. I wrote Ellen Greene and asked about him and she replyed and never mentioned Mike but told me all about her roomatism. As if I cared about her roomatism.

I love Mormon boys!

Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress careful not to shag her or you’ll never get your balls back.” - Simon Hunt

I may not always be right, but when I am, I admit it

Audrey turned to him, a sly little spark hiding in her eyes. "THe only man who gets to call me'love' would be waking up next to me after a very, very fun n

And I meant to tell you: that was a one-in-a-thousand shot."She raised her hand. "Don't.""It was awesome, " George confirmed. "It really was, " Jack said. "His head exploded.

Breaking into the house in the middle of the night just wasn't his style. He did his best work in plain view, and, usually, his tongue was doing most

If everyone listened to me, the world would be a better place.

She put her hand on her hip. "Where are you going?""To the boat. You called me Lord Bill again. That means we're cool."Cerise slapped her forehead with the heel of her hand and followed him.

I know what you mean. I usually take it out on my older sister. You can lease her for a weekend or something if you need a psychological punching bag. I'll even give you a discount.

Only love will attract love.”~ Amunhotep El Bey

Rina’s always claimed that I expect too little from life, ” Standard said.“Then at least you’ll never be disappointed.

I just don't know what I'd do without a brain, Simone!" I say. "I mean, what's a person without one?

Quirky, funny, happy-go-lucky dead inside Dexter. No longer Dexter with the knife, Dexter the Avenger. Not until next time.

Wanna see the rest of my happy place?

Snake pulled out the digital camera and decided to play a joke on Otacon. He snapped a picture of the pinup, muttered, "Good, " and closed the door.

Project: Potential was a separate class that the gifted students went to for an hour each day. The name was supposed to make it exciting, like Code Name: Cursive or Mission: State Capitals.

Scottish Play Doe was born at 4:13 a.m. on September 6th. The ink was barely dry on his father's new tattoo.

Polly Esther Doe was born at 8:03 a.m. on August 14.

I can see her weighing her response, concentrating like a cliff diver studying the ebb and flow of the tide."Um, well... could you at least give me an idea?""Two weeks give or take a week or two.

It sounds like you aren't used to having something so powerful between your legs, " Abbey said. "Maybe you should let me drive.

The fewer moving parts, the better." "Exactly. No truer words were ever spoken in the context of engineering.

I think guns are just a symbolic substitute for male genitalia, and I’m okay in that respect.” “Fine. If they get in the house, you can whack them with your genitals.

I tried to picture a bunch of guys in blue suits running around a beachside neighborhood, knocking on doors and flashing Fed creds. That should cause a stampede of illegal aliens heading south.

How in the world do you tellyour wife that her mother was born a unicon?

Good cops make their bosses look good, and Hector was a one-man beauty school.

Nona I don't think your allowed to smoke in here.Nona exhaled a large cloud of smoke.Nona keeps their lights on. A little smoke won't hurt them.

Still, the painful death of that unicorn had been satisfying to watch

Well, just get used to it, because you're a long ways away from Kansas, my dear. She actually started singing "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow" as she traipsed to the counter.

I overheard Nona talking about my little buds and how she remembered back when she was developing into a woman, and that was enough for me.

You know, Hope is also rather interesting, there's just not two of her, Dad teased Nona

I will call Guido if i need to

We walked on the moon. We made footprints somewhere no one else had ever made footprints, and unless someone comes and rubs them out, those footprints will be there forever because there’s no wind.

I should mention, by the way, that LVR stands for Luminal Velocity Regulator. I suppose it could also stand for Large Venezeulan Rats, but in this case it does not.

Alvin smiled back, and kissed her. "People talk about fools counting chickens before they hatch. That's nothing. We name them.

Wiping the rivulet of sweat running down my ear with the bottom of my muscle shirt, I snuck a sniff under my pit. Whoa. Kill a moose

. . . you worked for Harry King, they said, because a broken leg was bad for business, and Harry King was all about business.

He who lies down with dogs shall rise with fleas

There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good.

I'll get it, " said Jough in his man-of-the-house voice, a full octave lower than his regular voice.

What are those bulb things you're slicing?""You've never seen fennel? It looks like celery and tastes like licorice.

On the forest floor was the LVR's smoldering ceiling panel, just lying there like the lid of a sardine can that had been eagerly and violently thrown away by someone who very much liked sardines.

I pick up Dylan. He certainly takes after his father: about three-quarters of his body weight seems to be head, and three-quarters of that is ears.

So what do you think the physical effect was?"Roman Laughed. "Buddy, " he said, "she was tripping.

Could I pick some flowers for Miranda?’ I asked.‘You cannot take these flowers, ’ said Zoran. ‘They belong to the government.

He studied with the guru of rock n’ roll, Baba Oom Mow Mow, who taught his own version of the Golden Rule: "Do wop unto others as you would have them do wop unto you.

But though it had prevailed against such fierce adversaries as fire and flood, it had fallen victim softly and swiftly to television in the 1960's.

boys, girls and music . . why do they need gin?

You are my flesh and blood and I have always doted on you, but right now I would have to say you deserve a haughty, ruined chit for your own and she deserves you.