Alan Quotes

Be talented enough to make it and stupid enough to keep trying.

Some days I think I look kind of cute, but other days I try to avoid the mirror.

Sarah Palin is to women what John Wayne Gacy was to birthday clowns.

To be known by the public, honestly. People come up and tell them how good I make them feel.

I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman.

Dancing With the Stars' is so Middle America, and people take it so seriously.

I’ve tried actively to define myself and redefine myself, and not be pigeonholed.

I wanted to be a leading man - the black lawyer, the black doctor, the black policeman.

I wanted something where I could have the clearest and most unfiltered artistic and creative voice.

When I was a kid, I wanted to walk with my dad's limp - my dad was my hero - but that infuriated him, and he would make me walk back and forth in the living room until I walked without it.

I decided sitcoms weren't for me.

I never wanted to lose out on an acting job and wonder if I hadn't been trained enough.

My father was a doctor.

The president is always made fun of.

I have a talent for missing the best and greatest parties.

The more tightly you cling to your faith, the looser your grip is on reality.

Only religion could justify killing an adult with a family because he carried out abortions of unwanted or unhealthy fetuses that don't even have the intelligence of a typical fish.

All we know is that you are, if you will, the acme of perfection.

When I speak or when I offer ideas and explain how the universe seems to work from the point of view that I've understood, it seems to give people a lift - an unshackling or freeing.

Oh, scientific mind. You get all your data from us, the senses, but without us you would be nothing.

The Marine Corps taught me that I could achieve my goals. In short, the Marines made me believe in myself.

Luck does indeed favor the well prepared.

You don’t free yourself from duty by running away. That only increases the weight on your shoulders.

Ah, but I am more perceptive than most of the universe. Especially the parts of the universe that are vacuum.

I hated relying on luck. When it worked, it made me feel so damned eerie.

Don't be a little paranoid; worry about everything, or let it all go.

That's the first rule of command; be consistent! You can be sadistic, you can be lazy, you can be stupid, but if you're consistent the crew will still let you sit in when they play dominoes.

Lawyers will always buckle under to something, whether its bribes, violence, court orders, or the weight of their own bullshit.

Everyone's life is a mess. Everyone's. We all make mistakes . . . and not just little slip-ups. Major mistakes that hurt us and other people.

What kind of programmer is so divorced from reality that she thinks she'll get complex software right the first time?

It is strange how the presence of additional people can make you feel more alone.

I've kept voluminous diaries since I was eighteen, and do a lot of experimental writing.

Both of my parents were cartoonists - they met in art school - so I was always drawing and I was the best artist in my class and all that stuff.

I like to follow my own muse.

In real life, people are going by fast and it's hard to draw them from my eye alone in a split second.

You set your reality and carefully construct it so that it has a certain feeling, an energy. That's the vital, visceral thing about making an illustration.

Often the energy of a piece is more exciting to me than the subject.

Like everyone, I want to make my own "fine art."

Time and space, and freedom. That's what I want most. Isn't that true for all of us?

I lie there for a while in the dusk, then make a decision, little knowing how it will affect every facet of my life and fiber of my being for the rest of my life: I say no to shame.

I do not politicize Christianity nor my discipleship as Jesus did not politicize either His divinity nor his humanity.

The Virtue and unpretentiousness of the wise man, which I am talking about, goes unnoticed because of its transparent ordinariness.

I have always thought that all philosophical debates are ultimately between the partisans of structure and the partisans of "goo.

Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit.

Life is like butter - when things cool down it can be reshaped

The definition of a professional is one who does a job well even when they don't like it.

Rich or poor it’s nice to have money

I have always found that actively lovingsaves one from a morbid preoccupationwith the shortcomings of society.

We are alone. Live our lives, lacking anything better to do. Devise reason later.

One word can change your life forever.I love youI hate youThink about it