Alan Quotes

The man is United - cut him and he bleeds red

A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes.

Some players need a boot up their backside. Other players need the arm

In the papers this morning: 'Police closing in on Ian Holloway.' Sorry, it's 'Palace closing in on Ian Holloway.'

Having lost the last war, they are currently enjoying a "Wirtschaftswunder," which can be briefly translated as "The best way to own a Mercedes is to build one."

Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. Forever.

If people don't like my style, then I can't do anything about that. I have been like that since I first entered into the game and it hasn't done me bad in the past, so I am not going to change now.

Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose.

It's really rare for film directors to be that interested in things other than themselves.

One of the advantages of travelling the world is that you get to know the world broadly. And one of the advantages of staying in one place is that you get to know the world deeply.

The ego is nothing other than the focus of conscious attention.

The club continued to make significant player decisions without involving me. In the end such a breach of trust and confidence meant that I had no option but to leave.

It is obvious that the only interesting people are interested people, and to be completely interested is to have forgotten about "I".

We toast the Lisp programmer who pens his thoughts within nests of parentheses.

Acting touches nerves you have absolutely no control over.

When you look out of your eyes at nature happening out there...You're looking at you.

That's it then. Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas.

Acting is mostly about listening. If you just focus in on what the other person is saying, acting takes care of itself to quite a large extent.

All writers have roots they draw from - travel, work, family. My roots are in science and it is fertile ground for fiction.

Life is generally something that happens elsewhere.

It seems to me the mark of a civilized society that certain privileges should be taken for granted such as education, health care and the safety to walk the streets.

I want to be around when Newcastle win a trophy because I want to see this place lift off. It will be one hell of a party for a long time.

Only fools and passengers drink at sea.

But of course it's always gonna be Suicide, our fingerprints, ya know? You can't ever get rid of that.

-But rational thoughts lead only to rational thoughts, whereas irrational thoughts lead to new experiences.

If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer.

Credit-default swaps, I think, have serious problems associated with them.

Roger, liftoff, and the clock is started.

In English every word can be verbed.

In all planning you make a list and you set priorities.

Every leader, and every regime, and every movement, and every organization that steps across the line to terrorism must be banished from the discourse of civilized human life.

Optimization hinders evolution.

I am partly to blame for the decking boom, and I am sorry, I know it?s everywhere these days.

It's always better to be wise than to be smart.

If you think you understand what I am saying you do not understand what I am saying.

For every discouragement has been allowed to come to us in order that through it we may be cast in utter helplessness at the Saviour's feet.

Rules cannot take the place of character.

Since I've become a central banker, I've learned to mumble with great incoherence. If I seem unduly clear to you, you must have misunderstood what I said.

I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.

I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.

There is no revival possible in any fellowship without a price being paid.

Baseball, more than any other sport, has a magical way of connecting fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, grandparents and grandchildren and ancestors back down the line. - From The Brooklyn Nine

I like performers who I know are for real. You can tell, man, there's an intensity about their stuff. You can tell right away they're real people, ya know?

The gut-feel of the 55-year old trader is more important than the mathematical elegance of the 25-year old genius.

Persistence is the soul of a champion.

In computing, turning the obvious into the useful is a living definition of the word "frustration".

You never get fed up scoring goals.

The anitya doctrine is, again, not quite the simple assertion that the world is impermanent, but rather that the more one grasps at the world, the more it changes.

The reason I got into acting was the audience is right there and if you did something great they were right there and you knew it.

If you don't believe you don't belong