Will Ferguson Quotes

A friend of mine that I was in a band with started me on Kafka, which in turn led to Camus and Sartre.

New iPod. It looks like an iPhone but it can't make phone calls. So its really just an iPhone.

I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn't.

Pies were invented 12,000 years ago by the Egyptians. It was an easy way to preserve food that would be carried over long distances. They were like ancient Slim Jims.

For a while, some schools across the country were banning spelling bees. For obvious reasons, of course - steroids

If you watch cooking shows on cable, they have lots of British people. Because when you think good cooking, you immediately think Britain.

I'm always a bit shy around evil people.

I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they're naughty.

Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.

It turns out that speeding irresponsibly in a large truck, placing personal wealth ahead of the welfare of others, is one of the greatest sins in the Universe.

Being guilty tends to engender feelings of guilt.

It's a book. It's mine. And it's done.

Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!

People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."

The views expressed by Me are in no way endorsed by CBS any of its allied companies or in fact Me.

I don't think of myself of a late-show host any more than I think of myself of a game-show host. I mean, I've done both, I've been an actor. I'm just kind of a carny, that's it.

Nobody on my staff is on salary. The money goes straight to the charities.

Certainly I'm always willing to talk to anyone who's interested in talking to me!

I don't know what 'Mad Men' has done for my fan base. I didn't know that I still had a fan base, to be honest.

I have been recognized from Mad Men, and it’s so cool when that happens because I am so proud to be a part of the show.

Let me just tell you this: I love polyester.

Im from Dallas. My whole family is based in Texas and Mississippi and Arkansas, spread throughout most of the South.

Growing up, I was a very shy kid but I felt that being on stage or playing another character would somehow open me up. And I think it did.

I get great joy from creating the perfect Norman Rockwell holiday. This is why I think I might be Martha Stewart's brother from another mother.

All my roots are Broadway. I got my Equity Card doing a Broadway show, and my first love is theater.

At my first Golden Globes, I met people I was very much enamored by: Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. It was surreal to see them in person.

If I had a reality show, it would probably be called “Keeping Fit With Jesse Tyler Ferguson” because then I’d be forced to hit the gym every day.

Well, certainly at the Golden Globes, during every commercial break everyone gets up and schmoozes with each other.

I think if I produced a show I would not want to be part of that production. That's not... I'm not... I mean, I couldn't even sell Boy Scout chocolate bars when I was a kid!

I still feel like a novice when it comes to classical theater, but I don't ever want to become comfortable with anything. The greatest creativity comes from being nervous and uncomfortable.

So many people among non-scientists see science as an unassailable monolith of truth, and it's not. It's an ongoing self-correcting process.

Cynics know the answers without having penetrated deeply enough to know the questions. When challenged by mysterious truths, they marshall 'facts.

The beginning of personal transformation is absurdly easy. We have only to pay attention to the flow of attention itself.

If the King's English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me!

Before we choose our tools and technology, we must choose our dreams and values, for some technologies serve them, while others make them more unobtainable.

The East contemplated the forest the West counted the trees...the mind that knows that trees and the forest is a new mind.

Spirituality is a kind of virgin wisdom, a knowing that comes prior to experience.

Real progress in understanding nature is rarely incremental. All important advances are sudden intuitions, new principles, new ways of seeing.

When one begins the transformative process, death and birth are imminent: the death of custom as authority, the birth of the self.

Although most of us are complacent in our assumption that science is gaining on the unknown, scientists are acknowledging that man's own brain is complex beyond any hope of complete understanding.

Love is a context, not a behavior.

Those who have most at stake in the old culture, or are most rigid in their beliefs, try to summon people back to the old ideas.'

We live what we know. If we believe the universe and ourselves to be mechanical, we will live mechanically.

A fully functioning employee with a healthy self-image is money in the bank.

The day of the great Jazz improviser who doesn't know how to read music is over.

Change happens when one individual has had enough pain and finds the inner resolve to ask for help and make a difference.

Only in Washington would death be considered a taxable event. [a cynical but perhaps fair assessment]

Today, the average Korean works a thousand hours more a year than the average German. A thousand. ... That is the end of the Great Divergence.

In the financial sector, those whom the gods want to destroy they first teach math.

Collaboration is risky. If it fails, if the occupation is wound up prematurely and the bad guys come back to power, you might find yourself in some serious trouble.