Nigel Rees Quotes

Democracy is too good to share with just anybody.

How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?

I was terribly shy and never said anything in class. Then I started getting into school plays. When you've got words to say, you've got a sort of armour.

Lord Castlerosse was taken to task by Nancy Astor over the size of his stomach. 'What would you say if that was on a woman?' she asked, pointedly. 'Half an hour ago it was,' he replied.

Rees's First Law of Quotations: When in doubt, ascribe all quotations to George Bernard Shaw.

It is part of politics to make things look better than they really are. What is a spin doctor but a serial euphemiser?

Euphemism in the workplace does not end with job descriptions. It reaches a pusillanimous peak at the other end of the work process - in dismissal.

I was broadcast-struck from an early age; I had saved up for a tape recorder and started making programmes.

People will say what they want to say, in the way they want to.

I was absolutely a non-starter at games. My report for rugby said, 'Nigel's chief contribution is his presence on the field.' I used to pray for rain and sometimes it did rain - and we played anyway.

I am only too aware that I am open to Rees's Second Law of Quotation: "However sure you are that you have attributed a quotation correctly, an earlier source will be pointed out to you."

I got into New College, Oxford. The ethos was that you could work - or not.