L.A. Rosenberg Quotes
You mustnt forget the circumstances I have been brought up in, the little education I have had.
I dont see, based on the evidence, economic and moral, that we can make it that much further.
The question shouldn't be “Why are you, a Christian, here in a death camp, condemned for trying to save Jews?' The real question is “Why aren't all the Christians here?
NVC is interested in learning that is motivated by reverence for life, by a desire to learn skills, to contribute better to our own well-being and the well-being of others.
Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.
If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?
Tragically, one of the rarest commodities in our culture is empathy. People are hungry for empathy, They don't know how to ask for it.
Once you can clearly describe what you are reacting to, free of your interpretation or evaluation of it, other people are less likely to be defensive when they hear it.
The first step in healing is to put the focus on what's alive now, not what happened in the past.
Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.
If we want to make meetings productive, we need to keep track of those whose requests are on the table.
Postpone result/solution thinking until later; it's through connection that solutions materialize - empathy before education.
Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.
NVC is a reminder; to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.
Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.
NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.
When we have our consciousness on needs, images come to us, naturally, of how to meet those needs.
My need is for safety, fun and to have distribution of resources, a sustainable life on the planet. NVC is a strategy that serves me to meet these needs.
If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.
Never give advice to your children unless you have it in writing and notarized.
Never hear what a jackal-speaking person thinks, especially what they think about you.
As soon as you say, "are you feeling X because I ..." Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he's the cause of his pain.
Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing effects of psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with someone who can hear them empathically.
Anger, depression, guilt, and shame are the product of the thinking that is at the base of violence on our planet.
In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs.
We recognize that real educational reform is essential if today's and tomorrow's children are to live in a more peaceful, just, and sustainable world.
Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.
However impressed we may be with NVC concepts, it is only through practice and application that our lives are transformed.
The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.
The key to fostering connection in the face of a 'no' is always hearing 'yes' to something else.
We are this divine energy. It's not something we have to attain. We just have to realize it, to be present to it.
Behind intimidating messages are simply people appealing to us to meet their needs.