L.A. Rosenberg Quotes

A need is life seeking expression within us.

We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.

Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs

Empathy before education.

Art has arrived at the paradox that tradition itself requires the occurrence of radical attacks on tradition.

Avoid 'shoulding' on others and yourself!

To practice the process of conflict resolution, we must completely abandon the goal of getting people to do what we want.

Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.

Today, each artist must undertake to invent himself, a lifelong act of creation that constitutes the essential content of the artist's work.

It's harder to empathize with those who appear to possess more power, status, or resources.

To practice NVC, it's critical for me to be able to slow down, take my time, to come from an energy I choose, the one I believe that we were meant to come from, not the one I was programmed into.

Always hear the 'Yes' in the 'No'.

Fear of punishment diminishes self-esteem and goodwill.

When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.

Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.

Classifying and judging people promotes violence.

I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others.

The values to which the conservative appeals are inevitably caricatured by the individuals designated to put them into practice.

The Amorites founded Jerusalem, they formed the Nordic weft in later Galilee, that is, in the "pagan region" whence some day Jesus was to come.

Empathy gives you the ability to enjoy another person's pain.

Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.

With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.

My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met.

Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison); 2. Denial of Responsibility; 3. Demand; 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.

People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault.

When we judge others we contribute to violence.

America is the civilization of people engaged in transforming themselves. In the past, the stars of the performance were the pioneer and the immigrant. Today, it is youth and the Black.

Empathize with silence by listening for the feelings and needs behind it.

I will not leave a corner of my consciousness covered up, but saturate myself with the strange and extraordinary new conditions of this life, and it will all refine itself into poetry later on.

You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.

We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.

Ask before offering advice or reassurance.

I am in favor, heartily in favor, of our Constitution and Bill of Rights and I owe my allegiance to my country at all times.

Empathize, rather than put your "but" in the face of an angry person.

The ground of fearlessness is fear. In order to be fearless, you have to stand in the middle of your fear.

Innovation often originates outside existing organizations, in part because successful organizations acquire a commitment to the status quo and a resistance to ideas that might change it

Depression is the reward we get for being 'good'.

In these long-standing conflicts, I find that most cases it gets resolved in about twenty minutes after each side can tell me the needs of the other.

Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.

I can only say that one's individual situation is more real and important to oneself than the devastations of fates and empires especially when they do not vitally affect oneself

Because I work in television, I always knew that I loved working with writers. It's very collaborative. You're always in a room full of writers.

Make your goal to attend to your underlying needs and to aim for a resolution so satisfying that everyone involved has their needs met also.

Poetical appreciation is only newly bursting on me.

I wanted to write a battle song for the Judeans but so far I can think of nothing noble and weighty enough

Anger tells us we've disconnected from life. The purpose in anger is to use it to come back to life.

To misunderstand the nature and threat of evil is to risk being blindsided by it.

We can't win at somebody else's expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other person's needs are fulfilled as well as our own.

When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.

I got so lucky on my 'Red Widow' cast. It was just the universe looking out for me that I got those actors. It's a big ensemble cast, a very international cast. I don't know how that happened.

NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.