John Quotes

When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery.

Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'

Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.

The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not.

I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.

I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.

I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free.

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

I feel non-stop Brit shame!

Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.

Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life.

I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.

So a truthful assessment of how America is doing in the war on terror as a result of President Bush's war on Iraq is that we have been set back by decades.

The industrialization of China alone would increase by 90 percent the concentration of CO2 in our atmosphere and would at least increase the atmospheric CO2 by at least another 100 parts per million.

The military's own report says that one-third of deaths and casualties could have been avoided if proper body armor and vehicle armor had been provided from the start of the war.

The most extreme individuals and factions in Islamic countries are now more motivated than ever to kill Americans, and the number of potential terrorists has greatly expanded.

We need to make it clear that we will withdraw from Iraq within 6 to 9 months - so that the Iraqis will know that they must stand up and defend the opportunity given to them.

Americans were told repeatedly by President Bush and Vice President Cheney that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. None were ever found.

Clearly, a stable, unified and democratic Iraq cannot be achieved militarily by the U.S.

In this age of globalization, instant real time media and television, everyone all over the world realizes that high energy usage equates with a high standard of living and wealth.

President Bush's war on Iraq is viewed broadly in Islamic communities as an attack on Islam, and thus the President has alienated a large part of one fifth of the world's population.

I grew up in a show biz family and, if you wanted to talk at the dinner table, you'd better be prepared to talk about film.

In reality, each thought we have carries with it a little spiritual power, a tug toward or away from God. No thought is purely neutral.

The Holy Spirit will lead you to be with people as Jesus would be with them if He were in your place.

A boss who interrupts an employee a lot is called an extrovert, whereas an employee who interrupts a boss too often is called an ex-employee.

A bad sermon is like a car wreck - everyone slows down to see what happened.

I'm more concerned about who you're becoming than what you're doing.

The reason our souls hunger so is that the life we could be living so far exceeds our strangest dreams.

Real question is not who was this man (Jesus), but who is this man?

Spiritual transformation is not a matter of trying harder, but of training wisely.

The character of the faith that allows us to be transformed by suffering and darkness is not doubt-free certainty; rather, it is tenacious obedience.

One reason why we fail to hear God speak is that we are not attentive. We suffer from what might be called 'spiritual mindlessness.'

You can only love and be loved to the extent that you know and are known by somebody.

The miracle of Sunday is that a dead man lives. The miracle of Saturday is that the eternal Son of God lies dead.

Passion for our work is not usually a subterranean volcano waiting to erupt...It is a muscle that gets strengthened a little each day as we show up - as we do what is expected of us, and then some.

The Holy Spirit says: You are it. You are God's plan. In a thirsty world, people need to be refreshed. It is a broken world, and people need to be healed. Now get out there and do it!

We who preach have one tool. We are people of the book.

I am disappointed with myself. I am disappointed not so much with the particular things I have done as with the aspects of who I have become. I have a nagging sense that all is not as it should be.

Nobody lives up to the norms that God had in mind when he first created human beings.

Churches can become places of cynicism, resistance, and pessimism.

Our beliefs are not just estimates of probabilities. They are also the instruments that guide our actions.

You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.

The harder you strike it, the deeper it goes.

I never deliberately set out to shock, but when people don't walk out of my plays I think there is something wrong.

Laughter's the nearest we ever get, or should get, to sainthood. It's the state of grace that saves most of us from contempt.

There will be a quick rash of hairy American filth, but it shouldn't threaten the existence of decent, serious British filth.

The British public has always had an unerring taste for ungifted amateurs.

Marriage is rather a silly habit.

Heroes, whatever high ideas we may have of them, are mortal and not divine. We are all as God made us and many of us much worse.

I must say it's pretty dreary living in the American Age - unless you're an American of course. Perhaps all our children will be Americans.