John Bradshaw Quotes

Ego is to the true self what a flashlight is to a spotlight.

Children are natural Zen masters; their world is brand new in each and every moment.

It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are our teachers -- they help us to learn.

Hell, in my opinion, is never finding your true self and never living your own life or knowing who you are.

I have never met an aggressive person who wasn’t a fearful person.

True love heals and affects spiritual growth. If we do not grow because of someone else’s love, it’s generally because it is a counterfeit form of love.

We cannot heal what we cannot feel.

I believe that this neglected, wounded, inner child of the past is the major source of human misery.

To truly be committed to a life of honesty, love and discipline, we must be willing to commit ourselves to reality.

Recovery begins with embracing our pain and taking the risk to share it with others. We do this by joining a group and talking about our pain.

It is a mark of soulfulness to be present in the here and now. When we are present, we are not fabricating inner movies. We are seeing what is before us.

The more we know about how we lost our spontaneous wonder and creativity, the more we can find ways to get them back.

It's essential to tell the truth at all times. This will reduce life's pain. Lying distorts reality. All forms of distorted thinking must be corrected.

Since the earliest period of our life was preverbal, everything depended on emotional interaction. Without someone to reflect our emotions, we had no way of knowing who we were.

I know from my own clinical work that when people are beaten and hurt, they numb out so that they cant feel anymore.

You can't heal what you can't feel!

Shame is the root of all addictions.

Evil is a source of moral intelligence in the sense that we need to learn from our shadow, from our dark side, in order to be good.

Children are curious and are risk takers. They have lots of courage. They venture out into a world that is immense and dangerous. A child initially trusts life and the processes of life.

All these feelings need to be felt. We need to stomp and storm; to sob and cry; to perspire and tremble.

Most people who have survived abuse have great strength.

The foundation for our self-image is grounded in the first three years of life. It comes from our major caretaker's mirroring.

We move from the illusion of certainty, to the certainty of illusion

Condemning others as bad or sinful is a way to feel righteous. Such a feeling is a powerful mood alteration and can become highly addictive.

Growing up means leaving home and becoming a self supporting adult. I think this the hardest task any human being hast to face.

Virtue is an inner strength. It expands your nature.

Healthy shame is an emotion that teaches us about our limits. Like all emotions, shame moves us to get our basic needs met.

Children aren't fooled. They know we give time to the things we love.

You can find more traditional Shakespeare than we do. But what we want to bring to these works is energy, passion, freshness.

There are plenty of quacks in the field. Fewer than you'd expect, though still plenty (in alternative medicine).

Chronically dysfunctioning families are also delusional. Delusion is sincere denial.

Children need parents who model self-discipline rather than preach it. They learn from what their parents are actually willing to do; not from what they say they do.

I believe that this neglected wounded inner child of the past is the major source of human misery.

I believe that this neglected wounded inner child of the past is the major source of human misery.

Shame is internalized when one is abandoned. Abandonment is the precise term to describe how one loses one’s authentic self and ceases to exist psychologically.

Perhaps nothing so accurately characterizes dysfunctional families as denial.