Jo Brand Quotes

If you have no brothers and sisters it defines you for life; even when you're thirty you refer to yourself as an only child.

A healthy body attends to the pain of the weakest part.

There's no unemployment in squatter cities. Everyone works. One-sixth of humanity is there. It's soon going to be more than that.

Information wants to be free, because the cost of getting it out is getting lower and lower all the time.

Do what's good for humans, modeled on how humans already do things; ignore what's convenient for computers.

When I was a nurse my favourite assignment was the anorexic ward. I sometimes ate as many as seventeen dinners

Apathy is a rational reaction to a system that no longer represents, hears or addresses the vast majority of people.

Socialism isn't a dirty word; it just means sharing. Really, it's just the bureaucratic arm of Christianity.

Most men live like raisins in a cake of custom.

I want to change the world, and do something valuable and beautiful. I want people to remember me before I'm dead, and then more afterwards.

I think it's really important to be kind, especially to people whose lives are grim - I try hard to cheer people up in as many ways as I can - if all else fails - I tell 'em a joke!

I pay a bit more than lip-service to health: I don't eat chips or pre-prepared food, and it might be a comedy sacrilege to admit I do like vegetables, fruit and salad and stuff.

When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was still hideous to read at a great romantic moment.

I went on the pill when I was 16, put on four stone... so that proved to be a very effective contraceptive.

I cannot abide anyone treating another human being like a piece of dirt, whatever the context.

A good culture in a hospital can absorb and manage a few bad nurses, but once the culture becomes bad in itself, bad nursing practice is much harder to hide.

I have seen good nurses and bad nurses. They existed along a continuum: from hard-working, kind and competent people, to office-hugging, bone-idle types, to apathetic, disengaged automatons.

When the man who knows all about the fruit fly chromosomes finds himself sitting next to an authority on Beowulf, there may be an uneasy silence.

To think at its best is to find oneself carried down the current of necessity.

Once the anchor of reason has been cut, ones craft may go anywhere. One may become a St Francis or equally a Hitler.

I am convinced that the attitude we cultivate in advance may well determine how suffering will affect us when it does strike.

When a fantasy turns you on, you're obligated to God and nature to start doing it right away.

Redefine the possible.

I'm buying things for people I don't even know. I'm like Willy Wonka, but more manipulative. Imagine if Willy Wonka had a devious goal.

It's highly psychological, and very beautiful, and overwhelming, and real, and trippy!

All penguins are the same below the surface, which I think is as perfect an analogy as we're likely to get for the futility of racism.

From someone who doesn't want to share your destiny, you should neither accept a cigarette

I'm a Luddite with computers, and I'm slightly worried about being hacked as well.

So, my style has hopefully changed over the years and it is more relaxed, and I do tend to smile and have more than one expression these days hopefully - which I didn't at the beginning.

Information wants to be free.

The priority of any addict is to anaesthetise the pain of living to ease the passage of day with some purchased relief.

People don't realize that the future is just now, but later.

If you've got any concern at all about animal welfare, you've got to not eat meat.

The main problem with solar on the Earth's surface is that it is so intermittent, and we don't have decent storage yet.

I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.

Information wants to be free. Information also wants to be expensive.

I think self-esteem is fluid. It's not a fixed state, and so some days are better than others.

Sometimes, as a comedian, a line will come to you, that is so beautiful, so perfect, that you think: I did not create this line. This line belongs to all of us. Surely this is a line of God

As a person I'm a little more doubtful, introspective and analytical.

I used to binge-eat and make myself throw up. I was a fat kid. Obviously I didn't quite master the bulimia.

There was [really] little difference between someone acting throwing french fries in your face and someone throwing french fries in your face.

Total revolution of consciousness and our entire social, political and economic system is what interests me, but that's not on the ballot.

In England, we have such good manners that if someone says something impolite, the police will get involved.

It's very difficult to learn not to take nasty heckles personally.

Each generation has a backlash against the generation before.

I don't get my authority from this preexisting paradigm which is quite narrow and only serves a few people. I look elsewhere for alternatives that might be of service to humanity.

Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space.

People who say the system works work for the system.

There are lots of people who believe that caricature of me the tabloids created, so they think they don't like me.

I have a utilitarian approach to dressing; as long as I quite like it and it covers me up, I don't care what it is.