Jerry Quotes

I went to Gettysburg College, where the famous Civil War battle was fought. I majored in English. I would've liked to major in writing, but they didn't offer a major in that.

Maybe it was the angle, but her fawn's eyes, looking up at me, seemed larger than ever. I had to make an effort to keep my balance lest I fall into them.

You are truly focused when you're so focused that you don't know you're focused.

I seem to have a natural tendency to want to share my own observations and feelings with other people, and writing seems to be the way I'm best equipped to do that.

Usually it takes me about nine to 12 months to write a book.

And the more you love someone, the safer it is to be mad at them. Love can handle mad, no problem.

I didn't realize we were being watched. We were all being watched

Now I don't really write for adults or kids - I don't write for kids, I write about them. I think you need to do that, otherwise you end up preaching down.

Events become feelings, feelings become events

It was different with you, Leo. In the eyes and ears of my heart, you and the magic are one and the same.

I felt alone on the planet, drifting through the cosmos. With both hands I reached out to the night. There was no answer. Or maybe I just couldn't hear it.

The trouble with miracles is, they don't last long.

Each night I lie down in a graveyard of memories. Moonlight spins a shroud about me.

Star people are rare.

The kids who leave their favorite authors behind do not in fact leave us utterly abandoned, but in due time drive children of their own to the bookstore and the post office.

If we are destined to be together again, be happy to know you’ll be getting the real me, not some blubbering half me.

She laughed when there was no joke. She danced when there was no music. She had no friends, yet she was the friendliest person in school.

He said even if it's too cloudy to see, the sun will still rise, it will still be there. "But that's the whole point," I said. "Seeing it." "Is it?" he said.

Nobody knows who said it first, but somebody must have: 'Kid's gotta be a maniac.

The blanket was there, but it was the boy's embrace that covered and warmed him.

She laughed, and the desert sang.

Be very, very careful not to let the facts get mixed up with the truth.

I'm a happy guy, but if I'm in a rare dark mood, I won't go out because I don't want to be horrible to people.

I knew early on that I would do politics, but I would never make a living at it. I would do something else.

I treat politics kind of like my religion. It’s something I believe in, but I don’t want to have to make a living at it, because if you make a living at it, you somehow become dishonest.

I play a crazy talk-show host, but that's not me. It's like an actor playing a role.

I'm not conflicted. Because I know. There's me, and there's the show.

Obviously I wanted to be a bus driver - and I still do. If only I could get a part time job.

I create this persona for the show. And that's what it is. I'm an act.

I'm liberal, but I watch the three majors. Obviously I watch MSNBC, also CNN and Fox, which is what I would call ridiculously to the right.

To go from politics to news, at least the subject matter is the same, even if the view is different.

Somewhere in the land, a monster lurked.

When I was first on 'Dancing With The Stars,' people were really shocked and surprised.

No one would have picked me out in high school and said, 'This guy is going to be in show business.' I don't have any of the talents you would normally associate with show business.

In one generation, my family went from extermination simply because of how they pray to God to this ridiculously privileged life I live today. So how can I not love America?

Vegetarianism is a good idea.

I should get a weekend show where all I do is play country music.

[Invading Iraq] would create generations that hated the USA.

I can't imagine anybody who has spoken to more, or presented more non-famous people on television in the history of the world.

TV is a huge draw. It's a magnet. Even when I was a policeman, if I was on a police scene and the news showed up, I'd race home to see if I would be on TV for 2 seconds!

In my family, misery didn't just love company, it wanted hostages.

I've always wanted to be a guy with a rec room.

You need an entire drama to construct your life around to avoid living it.

This is what I think: If you had the nerve to live what you lived, you should have the nerve to write it.

There was a weird intimacy, sitting in a car together. Couples sat in cars. Cops and their partners. Strangers became unstrange, sharing a windshield view of the world.

All my life I'd gone for women who were a little off.

Nothing ever turns me on so much in a woman as unhappiness.

There's no deodorant for desperation.

How do you write when you're not miserable? The solution, of course, is to make yourself miserable about not writing.

Junkies are liars. They have to be professionally.