E.W. Kenyon Quotes

I still wanna know who to sue to get my store fixed. (Bubba) I’m a turnip. Sue the rich kid who started it. (Nick)

Do Mom and Dad know you’re dating a homicidal lunatic? (Madaug) No, and if you tell them, I’ll superglue your fingertips to your keyboard. (Eric)

That which doesn’t kill us just requires a few centuries of therapy. (Caleb) Yeah, and usually a lot of Tylenol. (Nick)

What planet are you from? Obviously Planet Insanity was missing a local, long-term resident.' (Nick)

We’ve got to get these guys to Bubba’s. Anyone got a clue how to do it? (Nick) They gotta be breathing? (Simi) Yes. (Nick and Caleb) Well, pooh. That just takes all the fun out of it. (Simi)

I wonder why no one called the police about the rocket launcher? God knows my neighbors usually report it if I so much as fart in my backyard. (Bubba)

And you haven’t been betrayed yet, Nick. You don’t know what that’s like. What it does to you. The scars it leaves that never fade. (Ambrose)

Meaning, I need you to focus. If you want to save Madaug, you need to listen to me or the mortents will eat both of you Pop-Tarts for breakfast. (Ambrose)

We’re multigenerational Squires. (Carl) Which means what? You prance around with tinfoil armor and plastic swords pretending to be knights? (Nick)

Oh yeah, Scooby, it does. You and I have gone round many a day. I’m the reason you keep thinking you’ve had alien abductions. (Caleb)

He’s a tough little son of a biscuit eater. (Bubba)

Don’t move, and breathe only if you have to. (Caleb)

He’s ours now. Not made by evil, but birthed by human cruelty. (Mortent Leader)

Power, true power, comes from within. Not without. (Nick)

You do what you have to do or a bigger demon eats out your liver and uses your spine to pick its teeth. (Caleb)

My weaknesses are women in high heels, freedom under siege, and ebay. (Steele)

I prefer to work alone – except in the bedroom. (Steele)

Didn’t your mother ever tell you the only way to kill us is to cut us into pieces? You should have brought a wood chipper instead of a gun. (Wulf)

He would remember their kiss forever. She wouldn’t recall him at all.’ (Wulf)

I swear, Kat, you drive like you’re playing a video game. (Cassandra) Yeah, yeah. Wanna see the ray gun I have under the hood to zap them if they don’t get out of my way? (Katra)

I need some Starbucks. What about you? (Cassandra) Always game for java. Give me ground-up beans or give me death. (Katra)

It was great, wasn’t it? Really exciting stuff. (Chris) Like having my teeth drilled without Novocain. (Cassandra)

It was a typical day of suckage and blowage.’ (Chris)

Have you ever noticed that salvation, much like your car keys, is usually found where and when you least expect it? (Acheron)

You know the beauty of driving one of these? (Wulf) No. (Cassandra) You can swat a Daimon like a mosquito. (Wulf) Well, since they’re both bloodsucking insects, I say go for it. (Cassandra)

I just love to put a hurt on evil things. (Katra)

You mean you don’t know? (Wulf) No. In fact, I’m thinking right now that one, if not both of us, needs to put down the crack pipe and start this night over. (Cassandra)

Then why can’t I bully you into procreating? (Wulf) See! I’m the only human in history to have Viking yenta of his very own. God, how I wish my father had been a fertile man. (Chris)

So you guys fought some Daimons, huh? Wish I could. Wulf goes nuts if I even pick up a butter knife. (Chris)

Good grief. You two look like Village of the Sofa Damned. (Cassandra)

Don’t, Cassandra. (Wulf) Oh, please. I just want to choke her for a few minutes. (Cassandra)

I'm not sure I know what "normal" is.

Please tell me the cave just had a little indigestion. (Kat)

Looks like the safest spot here for a human who doesn’t want to get eaten. (Kish)

I’m a professional bodyguard. (Leta) Yeah, right. (Aiden) Nope. All true. I know seventy-two ways to kill a man and sixty-nine of them look like an accident. (Leta)

Now would be a good time to tell me you have your sais with you, Kat. (Cassandra) Nada. You got your kamas on you? (Kat) Yeah. I tucked them into my bra before I left home. (Cassandra)

What are you, a baby? Jeez, if you’re going to kill humans, the least you could do is learn to die with some dignity. (Wulf)

I've always loved fairy tales and magic - especially twisting them on their ears and poor trolls have always had such a bad rep.

I admire anyone who can walk across a stage to the mic and not trip.

It's easy to misjudge others. The one thing I try to do with everything I write is open people's eyes to those they normally ignore or dismiss. To make people aware of the "other" side of things.

If I could have one wish, it would be for people to look at one another with open hearts and minds. Most of all, to look at each other with compassion. No matter who they are.

What I like to believe, and what I do firmly hold to, is that in us all we do have the ability to remain honorable, no matter what has been done to us. No matter what horrors we've witnessed.

We don't have to surrender our souls or our compassion.

My mother always said that the strongest steel is forged by the fires of hell.

All of us are vulnerable, and at times we all feel adrift. But somehow, we all muddle through.

We just need some faith.

Kat laughed. 'Who wants to live forever?'Kish put his hand up. 'For the record, I do.'Sin scowled at him. 'Then why do you irritate me so often?'Suicidal tendencies are inherent in my species?

There are three sides to every story: yours, theirs, and the truth somewhere in the middle.

You can take my life, but you'll never break me. So bring me your worst...And I will definitely give you mine.

He was Death, and he'd ridden in on a pale horse...