E.W. Kenyon Quotes

What do you want exactly? (Fang) An end to the mistreatment of small, fluffy dust bunnies. (Thorn)

I can tell we’re going to get along like Batman and the Joker. (Fang) Just remember one thing, world. I’m the best friend you’ll ever have or the last enemy you’ll ever make. (Thorn)

This is your sword. You press the pointy end into the enemy. Try not to let him make eye contact with you and remember, he spits invisible poison. (Thorn)

You hurt any of us or those we love again and so help me, I won’t stop until I’ve pulled you into so many pieces, you’ll think you’ve been through a grinder. (Fang)

But it’s like Cherise says, the hardest ones to love are always the ones who need it most. (Aimee)

Forgotten history. You, however, are my present. (Varyk) Oh, goody. Do I have to wear a bow? (Fang)

I know I’m Charonte and we defer to our females, but you have to respect the fact that I’m Charonte and we protect our females to the end. You be my female. I be protecting. (Xedrix)

Oh, gods, you’re mated! I really hope it’s to Aimee. (Bride) Thankfully so. Otherwise I’d have had to kill me some ho and then beat Fang senseless. (Aimee)

What’s this? (Fang) One for all and all for fun, my friend. You didn’t think I’d let you fight demons all on your own, did you? (Thorn)

Why on earth would you want to talk to me? (Channon) My lady, do you not own a mirror? (Sebastian) Yes, but it’s not an enchanted one. (Channon)

So, how do you kill a dragon? (Channon) With a very sharp sword. (Sebastian)

Dragons have sharp talons. Sometimes I don’t get out of the way quickly enough. (Sebastian) Maybe you should fight smaller dragons. (Channon)

I’m here because I know the sadness inside you. I know what it feels like to wake in the morning, lost and lonely and aching for someone to be there with me. (Sebastian)

You told me there wouldn’t be any Rod Serling voice-overs, yet here I am in the middle of a Twilight Zone episode. Oh, and let me guess the title of it, Night of the Terminally Stupid! (Channon)

Relax, the bad guys don’t knock. (Romeo)

She doesn’t want me to own her. (Dante) Well, the Simi doesn’t understand that. Owning’s not so bad. I own akri and he kind of fun. (Simi)

Just out of curiosity, can an immortal choke to death on a bagel? (Francesca)

A pox on both his testicles! (Esperetta)

Let me guess, Velkan wants to see me? (Esperetta) No. The only thing His Highness would like to see in regards to you, Princess, is your disembowelment. (Raluca)

You are just so helpful, Andrei. (Esperetta) I try to be, Princess. (Andrei) And you fail with such panache. (Esperetta)

And you chose to fight for Artemis instead, what kind of stupid are you? (Jeff)

What do I do? (Jeff) Well, not to insult a man who looks like a rocket scientist in comparison to you, but…run, Forrest, run. (Rafael)

There can be no faith without doubt. No strength without temptation. (Rafael)

I would kiss you anyway, but I have a feeling that if I tried– (Rafael) I’d kick you in the nuts and tear your ear off. (Celena) That would hurt. (Rafael) That’s the idea. (Celena)

I would never have written it without you. (Erin) And I would never have lived without you. (V'Aiden)

Shut up, sod off, and let me in. (Fury)

Then I’ll do some digging. (Fury) You just can’t help this kamikaze streak you have, can you? (Sasha)

I’m going. But before I do, let me congratulate all of you on your stupidity. (Fury)

Why are you helping me? (Fury) I don’t know. Apparently I’m having a moment of extreme stupidity. (Angelia)

I warn you now. Anything happens to my mate or my son, we will hunt you down and rip you into so many pieces they’ll never find all of you. (Vane)

We were innocent victims. (Angelia) Yeah, and I’m the tooth fairy. (Bride)

Interesting, isn’t it? What do you have to say about that, Fury? (Savitar) They’re on crack. (Fury) Anyone else on crack? (Savitar)

I can’t believe you were going to call me a liar and take my place under the guillotine. Next time I try to save you, woman, you better stay saved. (Fury)

There are some things that sorry can't fix. - Acheron Parthenopaeus

who are you? really." Nykyrian shrugged. "Never figured it out. takes too much time to think about myself, and time is one luxury i don't own." pg.90

I am a socially awkward mandork. (Nick)

(She grabbed him for a bear hug.) Stop sexually harassing me, Mom. (Nick)

Don’t let the past ruin your future. (Acheron) Meaning what, oh great Yoda? (Kyrian) You take care of the kid. I’ll take care of your patrol tonight. I could use the target practice. (Acheron)

Where am I? (Nick) Hospital. (Kyrian) Really? No kidding? And here I thought I was at McDonald’s. (Nick)

Yeah, it’s me, but I like to think I looked better when we met. ‘Cause right now, I’m pretty much hogging all the ugly. (Nick)

So why did you get shot? One of your witticisms go awry? (Nekoda)

Cause I’m gonna put my foot so far up their butts they’re going to burp shoe leather. (Nick)

I’d rather be short, fat, and ugly than take after that man. (Nick)

But this…this kid wasn’t dead yet. Makes no sense to me. (Bubba) Maybe someone spiked his Wheaties? (Nick)

Are you sure I can’t catch it? (Nick) I’m positive. Believe me, I know my zombies. (Bubba) (Nick scoffed.) ‘Is it just me or is that like saying I know my elves and fairies?’ (Nick)

By the way, don’t breathe on the upholstery or I may have to gut you. (Nick)

What made you immortal? (Nick) Really good DNA. (Acheron)

Oh, come on. I have to know about the who-do voodoo that you do. (Nick)

Possible or not, they tried to turn me into a Nick McNugget. (Nick)

Well, isn’t that interesting. (Bubba) I ain’t your science experiment, Bubba. I don’t want to be interesting and I definitely don’t want to be a nubby treat for the zombies. (Nick)