E.W. Kenyon Quotes

So you're the infamous Acheron. (Amanda) Lord and Master of the great barbarian horde that roams the night. (Acheron)

I'm sorry. (Valerius) It's okay. We all have scars. I'm just lucky most of mine are on the outside. (Tabitha)

Yeah, well, I guess I feel like all of us misfits need to hang together. At least that way we don't swing along. (Tabitha)

Life is serious. (Valerius) No, life is an adventure. It's thrilling and scary. Sometimes it's even a bit boring, but it should never be serious. (Tabitha)

C'mon, Tabitha. You stabbed me the night we met without even blinking. (Valerius) Yeah, but you were a dirtbag then. (Tabitha) I think I'm offended. (Valerius)

They attacked you? (Danger) No, I beat my own self up. What do you think? (Keller)

As Nietzsche said, ‘that which doesn’t kill you– ’(Alexion) Will only require brief hospitalization. And if you’re a Dark-Hunter, just a good day’s sleep. (Danger)

You’ve got on a white coat. (Ephani) Awesome cognitive powers you have there. (Alexion)

Bring mine unopened, with a napkin and an opener. (Blaine) What? Afraid I’m going to spit in it, big boy? (Aimee)

I’ll wait out here until the two of you are finished. Just call out if you need anything. Like a priest, cop, or lion tamer. (Aimee)

What would you like? (Maggie) I don’t care. I’ll eat anything not Tylenol or chocolate. (Wren)

My father used to say that it’s not enough to just beat an attacker off. You have to hurt them enough that they’ll know not to tangle with you anymore. Or preferably kill them. (Wren)

What happened to your hair, tiger? (Fang) It fell off. (Wren)

How many more are there like you? (Maggie) Enough to make the cast of a Cecil B. DeMille film look like a two-man opera. (Wren)

Shutup, lapdog, this isn’t your fight, either. Boy, you better counsel that tongue before you find yourself without it.

Oh no, hon we were too late. Tiger-boy done pissed down the wrong honey tree and got all the bees, or in this case, bears, going wild. (Fury)

Not that I’ve ever feared a fight or backed down from one –(Wren) That’s the truth. I swear he’s half beta fish. He’d fight his own reflection to prove a point. (Maggie)

Screw reality. It don’t feed my dog. It don’t make my Porsche payments. It don’t get me laid. Bullshit does that…and I like it that way. (Leo)

You know, if my life was a horse, I’d shoot it. (Susan)

I mumble hocus-pocus and the next thing you know, I’m a cat. (Ravyn) I suppose it’s a step up. The last guy I had in my house could only turn into a beer-drinking pig. (Susan)

You know I can’t go out there. There’s daylight outside. (Ravyn) Well, that’s what happens when the big yellow ball comes up over the mountains. Amazing isn’t it? (Susan)

Uh-huh. You know with that sinister tone you should look into working for the IRS. I’m sure they’re desperate for people who can cow others with a single growl. (Susan)

What? Had a dry spell of killing people lately? (Susan) As a matter of fact, yes. If it doesn’t end soon, I might get out of practice. (Otto)

Looks like I’m going to ruin your day, Big Boy. I choose to live my crappy life a little longer. (Susan)

In essence, we’re their servants who help them and who guard them from the public. (Leo) Oh gee, golly, goodie, Mr. Leo! Can I have my eyes gouged out, too? (Susan)

These are used solely for Blood Rites. (Leo) Is that like special ed? (Susan)

I’m assuming those are Daimons. (Susan) No, they’re Avon ladies. (Ravyn)

Yes, and for the record, he thinks you’re insane, too. (Otto) Oh, goodie. But I guess that’s only fair since I think he’s psychotic. (Susan)

Kitten, when did you get so tall? (Ravyn) I grew while you were in the bathroom. (Erika)

And they choose our mates. (Ravyn) So what do they do? Jump here on earth, tap you on the shoulder, and say, ‘Hey, bub, marry her’? (Susan)

Is the life you seek to take worth the one you could one day create? (Savitar)

When a cow lives with the butcher, sooner or later he gets eaten unless he helps the other cows off to their slaughter. (Nick)

I hate you! (Artemis) Don’t keep saying that, Artie. It’s cruel to get my hopes up. (Acheron)

Now you know I’m a reporter, so you might as well answer my question truthfully, or I’ll just keep asking it until you lose your mind. (Susan)

Call me Buffy. I’m even blond, but don’t ask me to wear a halter top. Or corset.

No one should have to pay for love in flesh or blood. (Acheron)

Can you believe our Ash is getting laid? Our baby is growing up. I'm so proud!

You were overwhelmed by my desire? What planet are you from? (Geary to Arik) Moronia. Every full moon they teleport the Morons to earth and let them loose. Consider this your first encounter. (Solin)

I swear it on Solin’s life. (Arik) Uh, excuse me? (Solin) I would, but there’s truly no excuse for you. (Arik)

Don’t you have a girlfriend or family you’d rather be with? (Geary) Only Solin, and honestly, he’s not this soft. Even if he was, it’d be gross. (Arik)

Like this cake. It’s really very good. (Arik) As the girth to my hips will attest. (Geary)

Oh no, if you really want to be wicked to him, nuke it first. (Geary) Yeah, but given his reaction to the cupcake, that might overload his taste buds with pleasure and kill him. (Tory)

We come from a long line of people who live to read boring texts – I think it may be why we all die young. Complete boredom. (Geary)

You two go and have fun. I have plenty of stuff here to entertain me with. Plato rocks! (Tory)

And he’s just plain odd. And what is your problem that you keep putting yourself in my way? (Geary) She’s feisty, Skotos. I can see the appeal. (ZT)

Victory to the spider. Patience wins the day. And today my patience ends. (Apollymi)

So how many women have you visited in their dreams? (Geary) Is this one of those questions that if I don’t answer it correctly, you get angry at me? (Arik)

Sweetie, in our world, fair’s got nothing to do with anything. He who has the greatest power wins. It’s why we’re all willing to kill each other off without flinching. (Solin)

You’ve no idea...my tongue has been known to let blood on four continents. (Geary)

Thank you, Geary. (Arik) For what? (Geary) For giving me a life that is the best dream I’ve ever had. (Arik)