Al David Quotes
I giggled out loud at his stupidity. If anyone knew how to make a bed, it was a faggot.
He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but paused along the way to spit in his face.
If finding an apartment is like falling in love, buying one is like proposing on your first date and agreeing not to see each other until the wedding.
Famous people like to choose friends who won't go around repeating their conversations and details about them.
I've never made up events, but I've always been a big exaggerator. It's written on my humorist license that I'm allowed to do that.
If I'm stuck, I get up from my chair and I wash windows. Or... clean the bathroom. Or vacuum the attic. There's always something to be done.
Usually, if I think something is really funny, it doesn't get any reaction whatsoever.
I don't really do very well when I'm sent somewhere. A lot of magazines want to send you somewhere to do something. They want you to stow away on a ship, or something like that.
I started writing when I was twenty. My first book came out when I was thirty-five. But I never expected that it would happen quickly.
The difference between the first time I read something and the tenth time I read something is generally pretty profound. Even if the script is the same, just the way that I read it is different.
One of the reasons I think Dark Shadows still runs is that it's dependent on nothing else other than a story.
You know... the wonderful thing about Dark Shadows, the thing about going and looking back at it. It was so sucsessful at creating its own world.
The thing of it is though that's the only way people know you, they see you in that roll and they see you in person and they only know the perception of what you are.
I don't think they knew exactly where they were going with the character, but they lay those stories out ahead of time, so they had some idea where they wanted it to go.
I was delighted to have lines when they came - learning lines for film isn't a problem, but television is a little different, because we shot those shows the whole way through.
I think family is very important in West Virginia and has long been so because the mountains made travel difficult in the past, and family members had to depend on each other.
Don't be discouraged if you think you're not a great writer because terrible writers are successful in Hollywood
I wanted my book to make people cry, but I feel like I'm the only person who my book is going to make cry, if they show me the sales numbers.
I don't necessarily believe in the ideology of cinema verité. I think by the very fact that you have a camera there you are affecting the story and you are influencing it.
Sometimes you are ahead of people and sometimes people have blind spots. They can't see the world and they can't see what they do.
Microsoft, by some accounts, the second most capitalized company on the planet, is the only corporate colossus in history whose entire product line could be eliminated with a giant magnet.
God did not make a mistake when He chose you to bear Christ's name at this hinge of history.
The first joint priority of the churches of any city should be that of making it hard for people to go to hell from that city.
Priority number one for too many of us is not the glory of God but the blessing of ourselves.
With relatively few exceptions, the novel sacrifices too much, for me, on the altar of plot.
I'm not interested in collage as the refuge of the composition-ally disabled. I'm interested in collage as (to be honest) an evolution beyond narrative.
The beauty of reality-based art - art underwritten by reality hunger - is that it's perfectly situated between life itself and (unattainable) "life as art".
You're one of 6.5 billion people now on the planet, and 99.9 percent of your genes are the same as everyone else's.
I'm wonderfully self-lacerating, probably to my character's detriment. I'm terribly open to critique.
The saying within the writer's room, which were my words of wisdom, if you will, was, "The punishment doesn't have to fit the crime, but there has to be a crime."
Making drawings with text in the first place, it really was born of a desire to be economic, and to do things as simply as possible, and to do as much as I could by the most economic means.
I don't really want to tell jokes about trivia; I'd kind of rather tell jokes about things like life and death.
Sometimes commercial galleries ask for particular work to sell, but I try not to be bossed around by them. I didn't become an artist to get bossed around.
I think the thing is there's a work for every space, you always have to respond to a context, whether it be a physical context, or a political one, or a cultural one, whatever.
I don't want to just spend my life ridiculing something that I find ridiculous, although there is an element of satire in my work.
Most of us entered journalism and joined "news organizations" because we care about the greater good. We strive to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
Prosecutors tend to love conspiracy charges because the rules of evidence are easier, meaning you can get more in to help prove a crime.
Most conservative and progressive talk radio is primarily just that - bloviated opinion and whacky viewer calls.
There are a lot of folks at Fox News who bring a certain level of sophistication to their understanding of politics.
As for UFO's ... I do believe there is a dimension that we don't understand. Not sure about little green martians, though.