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My mom made me go to a Britney Spears concert when I was young. And I was like, 'No, I don't want to!' she was like, 'You're going to be a performer, you need to see other people.'
The idea of a journeyman actor, people sort of say negatively - "Someone who never made it for real" - [but] I think a journeyman actor is the complete goal.
I think that it's a myth that there's one job that makes your whole career, unless you're winning an Oscar. But even that doesn't work for some people.
Even though I'm on a show that I love with people that I love - I have basically the dream job - that doesn't mean I'm not getting rejected on a daily basis.
We live in a time where improv is king and people love improv, and I think there's a time and a place for that and people who are really good at structuring improv.
I always tell my kids that as soon as you have a secret, something about you that you are ashamed to have others find out, you have given other people the power to hurt you by exposing you.
Even if the dramatic scenes are really hard, if you're happy with what you have and it's been creative and you had a good time with the people you worked with, that's a good day.
Married people dont look like they have bedrooms on their minds when they look at each other. In this world, either you're virtuous or you enjoy yourself. Not both...Not both.
There are no little people in America. There are only people, equal before the law, yearning to breathe free and wanting to achieve the best within them.
There is little consolation in the fact that millions of people are unhappier than we are. Why should other people's misery make us happier or more content?
I would like to say how much I resent people who say of the Islamic Republic that this is our culture - as if women like to be stoned to death, or as if they like to be married at the age of nine.
I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
The crowds treat me like my last name. When I go onstage people usually stand up, I never ask them to, but they do. They stand up and they don't know how much I appreciate it.
I have never seen people who could do real work except under the stimulus of encouragement and enthusiasm and the approval of the people for whom they are working.
The most exciting thing I aspire to do is to write something new that I know is going to work, or perform something that I know is going to make people laugh.
: But the people on the CD are famous. Those people were coming out to see those people. I don't think they need that kind of intimacy with those people.