Philosophical Humor Quotes

Philosophical Humor Quote of the day

If you make a deal with a fool, don't be surprised when they act foolishly.

A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches

To be, or not to be: what a question!

... the vintage of history is forever repeating ~ same old vines, same old wines!

What the hell is instant? Nothing is instant. Instant rice takes five minutes, instant pudding in an hour.

Perhaps it is a good thing that we don't live long enough to realize how redundant things seem :)

An autobiography is inherently incomplete unless the last page is written on the eve of the author's demise.

When your diary is full and your life is empty, get a date

Life is like a DVR recording. The story goes on, but you cannot see it until you fast forward through the commercials

It is logical to look for a green fowl in a dark room even if you know the chance of finding a green fowl in a dark room is slim.

It's best to locate the mind first before launching the 'missiles of contention'.

Some people remember the sixties better than others do. Some weren't even there, some who were there were not really there, and some who were not really there were "really there".

Intelligence is being intelligent enough to know you're not so intelligent as you intelligently once thought.

Be not afraid life with all its despair, pain and unhappiness is just a crucible wherein your brighter dreams are conceived, shaped and born

Silence does not always imply consent. Sometimes it simply means that the silent one has opted out of a discussion with idiots.

There is no human-like god. If there were, he'd be as silly as you.

Do not believe in a god who is as silly, and meaner than you. For, that would surely be your higher-self, and your stupid alter-ego.

I love religious nuts. They make me remember I have them too. So, being a health nut, I scratch them religiously. Just as I do my butt.

Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you.

Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?

I do not want to sound cynical or condescending, but your lips are moving, your mind unbending.

Remember, you are as dispensable as the most indispensable king of kings, the mighty lord of silly worldly men.

Were I but perfectly normal, I would just not be.

Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.