Black Humor Quotes
Black Humor Quote of the day
The most I can hope for is to die in a pose that confuses future archaeologists.
You see, insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
This morning the electricity came on for a few minutes, and when it did, Jonny said, "Hey, it's a black-on." This is what passes for humor around here.
Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950’s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead.
Guns don't kill people. People kill people.''But guns make it so much easier. Shall we go?
![Black Humor Quotes: "HELENA. What a fine day! Not too hot. [A pause.]VOITSKI. A fine day to hang oneself."](https://www.quoteslyfe.com/images/collection3/quotations144/HELENA-What-a-fine-day-Not-too-144613.jpg)
HELENA. What a fine day! Not too hot. [A pause.]VOITSKI. A fine day to hang oneself.
Remember you are never really alone. Although it may feel like it for very long stretches of time.
The dead, Your Honor, do not agonize over their crimes and do not long to be happy, as you know.
I could think of no better place to secretly murder someone than inside a fridge. Well, actually there were probably several better ones, but none came to mind at the time.
I don't know what it is about "magic happens"-stickers on cars but every time I see one I wanna get out my permanent marker and sneak over and write underneath it "so does cot death".
What's wrong with you, Daniel? How can you laugh about these things?" And I'm like, 'Cause crying only gets you halfway there, duh.
He quite liked dentists’ waiting rooms. Waiting for dentists was good. Waiting for them was so much better than having them stick metal spikes in your mouth.
... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything.
