Quentin Crisp Quotes

I'm happy. I don't ever have to pay anything, and I don't ever have to wash the dishes, and I don't ever have to behave nicely.

I don't think I have a tragic demeanor.

Everybody who's been on television more than once wears in public an expression of fatuous affability. Because you may be addressed at any moment by somebody.

It's written into the Constitution that you're allowed to pursue happiness. In England it would be considered a frivolous objective.

God, from whose territory I had withdrawn my ambassadors at the age of fourteen. It had become obvious that he was never going to do a thing I said.

I go wherever my fare is paid.

God is so angry. All that power, and so mean with it.

As far as I know, you can fancy someone, you can enjoy their company or you can wish them well. But what being in love is, I don't know.

The programs constantly repeat themselves and one another. No one has yet had the nerve to say, 'As we have nothing sensible to tell you between now and 8:30, please tune in again then.

Nowadays people don't use face powder; they say it dries the skin. But I makeup in the old-fashioned way.

You don't have to do anything.

I became one of the stately homos of England.

I never miss England.

As someone remarked, when told the new atomic bombs would explode without a bang, "they can't leave anything alone."

Did you know that Allah promises you a seat in Paradise if you kill a Christian?

I have to work in England, but here in America you don't have to work. You can sort of enter the profession of being.

If you live in America, you don't have to work. You can just drift along in the smiling and nodding racket.

The court was not previously aware of the prisoner's many accomplishments. In view of these, we see fit to impose the death penalty.

My function in life was to render clear what was already blindingly conspicuous.

Britain cherishes her eccentrics and wisely holds that the function of government is to build a walled garden in which anarchy can flourish.

Most men when they make up their faces, the makeup stands forward, and their faces are behind.

Exhibitionists have no friends, no friends at all.

Any film is at least better than real life.

The simplest comment on my book came from my ballet teacher. She said, "I wish you hadn't made every line funny. It's so depressing."

It is true that in America I've become a national hero, but really I was a hopeless case, that was all.

Every day someone notices me and waves to me, or stops and speaks to me, or asks me for an autograph, or photographs me.

All America is much the same.

The Scots are very hospitable; almost as hospitable as the Americans.

Without an element of vulgarity, no man can be a work of art...I have to try and think what an artist is, apart from a hooligan who cannot live within his income of praise.