Mason Cooley Quotes

Aphorisms know the angles, but not the structure.

The aphorism: a platitude that swerves, or slides all the way around.

Good places for aphorisms: in fortune cookies, on bumper stickers, and on banners flying over the Palace of Free Advice.

Once I find the right maxim to apply, I feel that I have done all that can be expected of me.

An aphorism that does not score is just one more sentence.

Aphorisms have never seduced anybody, but they have fooled some into considering themselves worldly-wise.

Energy falls just short of being joy.

Ironic and jittery, we are puzzled by the old heroes with their fighting, boasting, and cocksure lovemaking.

The hero used to be the one in white. Now he is harder to spot.

Good deal: justice for you, mercy for me.

Opportunity often goes begging. Luck, never.

A moratorium on opportunities, please. I need to recover from the last one.

If I want my time wasted, I'll waste it myself.

An imprudent enemy is less dangerous than an imprudent friend.

Jokes are unanswerable objections.

Health foods make promises that only the Second Coming could fulfill.

We may eat dinner together, but everyone puts the food in his own mouth.

In a strange city, I connect through food and fantasy.

I may forget my dignity, but you may not.

No dignity without distance.

Violence stops thought. Hence its popularity as a pain-killer.

As I review my life, I feel I must have missed the point, either then or now.

I gulp down my pleasures, chew over my miseries.

I pursue pleasure, but stingily, suspiciously.

Nothing goes sour more easily than the life of pleasure.

People often imagine that being hard to please confers a certain superiority.

If I could do my life over, I would try to cleanse at least my pleasures of self-pity.

Some marriages depend on domestic arguments the way the courts depend on litigation.

A sure cure for boredom: fast until you are ravenous.

Boredom strives to detach, but finds itself stuck.

Adrenalin dispels boredom. Run, you sufferers from ennui! Run for your lives!

A yawn is more disconcerting than a contradiction.

One eventually has enough even of oneself.

Boredom makes me sleepy or restless.

Even in rapture, part of the mind watches.

The chair as ideas fits only the bottom as idea.

Our most important decisions are made while we are thinking about something else.

As a child I was middle-aged and cautious compared to my impulsive father.

Lovers' quarrels are not generally about money. Divorce cases generally are.

The winner gives up his chance to be a good sport.

Every good time that goes on too long turns into a hell.

The most reliable pleasure afforded by theater is the intermission.

Clothes make the body both mysterious and historical.

Old age likes indecency. It's a sign of life.

Dirty old men, ignoring society, continue to follow nature.

Old men feel a slightly reluctant affection for one another.

As a youth, I sought out decadence; as an elder, I try to avoid decay.

Living too long exacts a painful price.

Old age learns about less after a lifetime of more.

In middle age, I practiced feeling old, but the real thing has been a rude surprise.