Anonymous Quotes

Boy handing over his report card: Of course I seem stupid to my teachers . . . they're all college graduates.

No one in this world needs a mink coat but a mink.

Judge each day not by it's harvest but by the seeds you plant.

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed.

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

Happiness is not the absence of conflict but the ability to cope with it.

The tragedy is not that things are broken. The tragedy is that they are not mended again.

The difficulties of life are intended to make us better not bitter.

When things go wrong don't go with them.

Turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

Good judgement comes from experience and experience - well that comes from poor judgement.

How are the mighty fallen!

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. Just don't respond with encores.

Failure is not in losing but in no longer believing that winning is worthwhile.

A mistake is not a failure but evidence that someone tried to do something.

Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from poor judgment.

Failure is not sweet but it need not be bitter.

Faith sees the invisible believes the incredible and receives the impossible.

Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo no one was there.

If life is a comedy to him who thinks and a tragedy to him who feels it is a victory to him who believes.

Faith is verification by the heart confession by the tongue action by the limbs.

Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety or by the handle of faith.

For the believer there is no question for the non-believer there is no answer.

An outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace.

Men think highly of those who rise rapidly in the world whereas nothing rises quicker than dust straw and feathers.

Children have become so expensive that only the poor can afford them.

A scout is a boy who dresses like a schmuck. A scoutmaster is a schmuck who dresses like a boy.

It appears there's a little too much chlorine in their gene pool.

Few mistakes can be made by a mother-in-law who is willing to baby-sit.

It takes about five years for a walnut tree to produce nuts but this is not true of a family tree.

To encourage my little kid to eat I'd sometimes say: "Just pretend it's sand."

Sis I've been wondering . . . On my birthday mom always gives me five thousand dollars. How much does she give you?

My kid asked if he could borrow ten dollars. When I only gave him five dollars he said "Okay since you owe me the other five dollars we'll call it even."

A child prodigy is one with highly imaginative parents.

When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan."

Keep in mind ... to a dog you are family to a cat you are staff.

Some people tell us that there ain't no Hell But they never farmed so how can they tell?

'Tis Fate that flings the dice And as she flings Of kings makes peasants And of peasants kings.

There is so much good in the worst of us And so much bad in the best of us That it ill behooves any of us To find fault with the rest of us.

Fear is the prison of the heart.

All fear is bondage.

As lacking in privacy as a goldfish.

There is no such thing as a little garlic.

Resentments are burdens we don't need to carry.

Those who can't forget are worse off than those who can't remember.

They may not deserve forgiveness but I do.

A Christian could even give thanks for Hell because Hell was a threat and a warning to keep him in the right way.

If you can't be thankful for what you receive be thankful for what you escape.

Even though we can't have all we want we ought to be thankful we don't get all we deserve.