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Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes

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Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep out of me."

The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep out of me.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "It is nearly impossible to hate anyone whose story you know."

It is nearly impossible to hate anyone whose story you know.




Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "We cannot bear a pointless torment, but we can endure great pain if we believe that it's purposeful."

We cannot bear a pointless torment, but we can endure great pain if we believe that it's purposeful.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "A sense of humor is the best indicator that you will recover; it is often the best indicator that people will love you. Sustain that and you have hope."

A sense of humor is the best indicator that you will recover; it is often the best indicator that people will love you. Sustain that and you have hope.




Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I can see the beauty of glass objects fully at the moment when they slip from my hand"

I can see the beauty of glass objects fully at the moment when they slip from my hand



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I believe that words are strong, that they can overwhelm what we fear when fear seems more awful than life is good."

I believe that words are strong, that they can overwhelm what we fear when fear seems more awful than life is good.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "We don't seek the painful experiences that hew our identities, but we seek our identities in the wake of painful experiences."

We don't seek the painful experiences that hew our identities, but we seek our identities in the wake of painful experiences.




Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Life is enriched by difficulty; love is made more acute when it requires exertion."

Life is enriched by difficulty; love is made more acute when it requires exertion.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "At the end of the day, will God be interested primarily in whether I have been kind and helped others, or in whether I was baptized and how?"

At the end of the day, will God be interested primarily in whether I have been kind and helped others, or in whether I was baptized and how?



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "When you believe that you cannot stitch your own heart back together, go to work on the hearts of other people; there is no surer way to repair yourself than to repair them."

When you believe that you cannot stitch your own heart back together, go to work on the hearts of other people; there is no surer way to repair yourself than to repair them.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I tend to find the ecstasy hidden in ordinary joys, because I did not expect those joys to be ordinary to me."

I tend to find the ecstasy hidden in ordinary joys, because I did not expect those joys to be ordinary to me.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Depression is the flaw in love. To be creatures who love, we must be creatures who can despair at what we lose, and depression is the mechanism of that despair."

Depression is the flaw in love. To be creatures who love, we must be creatures who can despair at what we lose, and depression is the mechanism of that despair.




Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "When you banish the dragons you banish the heroes."

When you banish the dragons you banish the heroes.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I think a lot of the time people assume that their values are universal. And they don't understand which aspects of their values are actually universal and which aspects are very specific."

I think a lot of the time people assume that their values are universal. And they don't understand which aspects of their values are actually universal and which aspects are very specific.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Living with depression is like trying to keep your balance while you dance with a goat -- it is perfectly sane to prefer a partner with a better sense of balance."

Living with depression is like trying to keep your balance while you dance with a goat -- it is perfectly sane to prefer a partner with a better sense of balance.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I was overpowered by being in the world, by other people and their lives I couldn’t lead, their jobs I couldn’t do - overpowered even by jobs I would never want or need to do."

I was overpowered by being in the world, by other people and their lives I couldn’t lead, their jobs I couldn’t do - overpowered even by jobs I would never want or need to do.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I think an awful lot of the diplomatic problems that exist in the world come from people assuming that their society is the one with a purchase on truth."

I think an awful lot of the diplomatic problems that exist in the world come from people assuming that their society is the one with a purchase on truth.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I hated being depressed, but it was also in depression that I learned my own acreage, the full extent of my soul."

I hated being depressed, but it was also in depression that I learned my own acreage, the full extent of my soul.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "The absence of words is the absence of intimacy. There are experiences that are starved for language."

The absence of words is the absence of intimacy. There are experiences that are starved for language.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Fixing is the illness model; acceptance is the identity model; which way any family goes reflects their assumptions and resources."

Fixing is the illness model; acceptance is the identity model; which way any family goes reflects their assumptions and resources.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Suicide is a crime of loneliness, and adulated people can be frighteningly alone. Intelligence does not help in these circumstances; brilliance is almost always profoundly isolating."

Suicide is a crime of loneliness, and adulated people can be frighteningly alone. Intelligence does not help in these circumstances; brilliance is almost always profoundly isolating.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Our needs are our greatest asset. It turns out I've learned to give all the things that I need."

Our needs are our greatest asset. It turns out I've learned to give all the things that I need.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I felt like all of the work was training for just one central idea: Accept your child for who he is. I'm not saying that I've done a brilliant job with that. But I've done my best."

I felt like all of the work was training for just one central idea: Accept your child for who he is. I'm not saying that I've done a brilliant job with that. But I've done my best.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I believe that organized religion is an ornament to the truth, and that aesthetics are part of its power."

I believe that organized religion is an ornament to the truth, and that aesthetics are part of its power.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "People … don't want to be cured or changed or eliminated. They want to be whoever it is that they've come to be."

People … don't want to be cured or changed or eliminated. They want to be whoever it is that they've come to be.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I have found that the greatest stories of acceptance and love and the ugliest stories of hideous cruelty and abuse have equally been perpetrated in the name of Christian faith."

I have found that the greatest stories of acceptance and love and the ugliest stories of hideous cruelty and abuse have equally been perpetrated in the name of Christian faith.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds."

Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Your gender identity is who you are. Sexual identity is who you bounce that off of."

Your gender identity is who you are. Sexual identity is who you bounce that off of.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Depression is the flaw in love. There's no such thing as love without the anticipation of loss. And that specter of despair can be the engine of intimacy."

Depression is the flaw in love. There's no such thing as love without the anticipation of loss. And that specter of despair can be the engine of intimacy.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Parenthood always involves recognizing your child as separate and different from you."

Parenthood always involves recognizing your child as separate and different from you.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "It's deeply humbling to realize that there is no such thing as a society with a purchase on truth."

It's deeply humbling to realize that there is no such thing as a society with a purchase on truth.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Parenthood abruptly catapults us into a permanent relationship with a stranger."

Parenthood abruptly catapults us into a permanent relationship with a stranger.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "We live in the right time, even if it doesn't always feel like it."

We live in the right time, even if it doesn't always feel like it.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I'm not studying everything that can go wrong. What I'm studying is how much love there can be, even when everything appears to be going wrong."

I'm not studying everything that can go wrong. What I'm studying is how much love there can be, even when everything appears to be going wrong.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I'd had a vaguely Jewish upbringing, but no deep connection to faith."

I'd had a vaguely Jewish upbringing, but no deep connection to faith.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I have spent a lot of my life trying to do good and be a humanitarian, to write about difficult places, and to tell the story of oppressed peoples."

I have spent a lot of my life trying to do good and be a humanitarian, to write about difficult places, and to tell the story of oppressed peoples.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I did grow up in a household in which I felt that to be myself was to damage the people I loved."

I did grow up in a household in which I felt that to be myself was to damage the people I loved.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I hate the comparative idea that you have to love your spouse more than you love your parents."

I hate the comparative idea that you have to love your spouse more than you love your parents.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "The idea of anyone contemplating our family and witnessing the affection that we all have for one another and seeing evil in it is deeply hurtful and sad; and also deeply bewildering."

The idea of anyone contemplating our family and witnessing the affection that we all have for one another and seeing evil in it is deeply hurtful and sad; and also deeply bewildering.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Despair is part of love."

Despair is part of love.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "The experience of being depressed and emerging from depression made me understand the idea of a soul. I felt that the language in which one could best acknowledge that drew from faith."

The experience of being depressed and emerging from depression made me understand the idea of a soul. I felt that the language in which one could best acknowledge that drew from faith.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I encounter a lot of prejudice and a lot of darkness. I have to negotiate constantly through situations that are uncomfortable or difficult or strange."

I encounter a lot of prejudice and a lot of darkness. I have to negotiate constantly through situations that are uncomfortable or difficult or strange.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "I think you can't deny that because the cochlear implant exists, the signing world is shrinking."

I think you can't deny that because the cochlear implant exists, the signing world is shrinking.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "It seems particularly ironic that a church that at one stage, a long time ago, fought to redefine marriage should now be so opposed to these attempts to redefine marriage."

It seems particularly ironic that a church that at one stage, a long time ago, fought to redefine marriage should now be so opposed to these attempts to redefine marriage.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "The tragedies that are being brought about vastly outweigh the benefits that are being achieved."

The tragedies that are being brought about vastly outweigh the benefits that are being achieved.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "The idea of what it is like to lose everything is awful."

The idea of what it is like to lose everything is awful.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "With children who have never said a word, parents tend to assume, for better or for worse, that there isn't any language there."

With children who have never said a word, parents tend to assume, for better or for worse, that there isn't any language there.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Treating an identity as an illness invites real illness to make a braver stand."

Treating an identity as an illness invites real illness to make a braver stand.



Andrew Solomon, 背離親緣(下):那些與眾不同的孩子,他們的父母,以及他們尋找身分認同的故事 Quotes: "Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it."

Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it.