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Inspirational Milton Berle Quotes to Tickle Your Funny Bone

Written by QuotesLyfe | Updated on: September 09, 2021


Inspirational Milton Berle Quotes to Tickle Your Funny Bone

In this article, we present to you some of the famous Milton Berle Quotes on Money, Laughter and More with their meaning.

Milton Berle was a packed entertainer. He was mostly known as a comedian, artist and actor. He had a career of around 80 years. He worked in silent films and as a child actor. He also worked in radio, movies and television. Berle was also a host of NBC's Texaco Star Theatre, which is indeed famous. He was also the first major American television entertainer who got the distinction with the name of "Uncle Miltie" and "Mr Television".

Berle was born into a Jewish family in the Harlem neighbourhood of Manhattan. His given name was Mendel Berlinger. He chose Milton Berle when he was 16 years old. His father, Moses Berlinger was a paint salesman and mother was Sarah (Sadie) Glantz Berlinger.

From 1934 to 1936, he appeared regularly on "The Rudy Vallee Hour". This gained him a lot of popularityIn the year 1939, Berle was the host of "Stop Me If You've Heard This One". This was a show in which the panellists finished those jokes that listeners sent in.

Berle first appeared on television in 1929. It was an experimental broadcast in Chicago. He returned to television 20 years later, having become the first major American television star.

In 2001, Berle announced that he had a malignant tumour in his colon. Unfortunately, Berle died from the cancerous disease of colon cancer on March 27, 2002. He took his last breath in Los Angeles. Below are some of the famous Milton Berle Quotes.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

You don't have to wait for the opportunity to knock on your door. You have to build your door to let that opportunity meet you. You have to ensure that you don't sit idle and blame the entire fortune or anything for your failure.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Sometimes you just need a simple therapy like laughter to heal yourself. You don't have to indulge in many fancy or expensive things. All you have to do is just laugh because it can help you travel amazing distances.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

This quote talks about the power dynamics in a relationship. No matter how much the husband is correct, the wife would never agree. And thus, it's said that she would forgive her husband even if she is wrong.

If evolution works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Mothers are the ones who do the maximum amount of work. However, it's sad that their work is never recognised. It's sad to see that while we talk about evolution, we don't talk about the evolution of women. As the work they do should deserve more number of hands.

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

Thomas Edison has been instrumental in the development of the light bulb. He has worked hard in making this basic essential available to us. It's beautiful to see that due to his invention only we have been able to watch TV. Otherwise, we had to use the candle.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

You can push the man towards a meeting or Congress, for that matter. However, brainstorming and thinking have to be done by him. It has to be done by the person himself/herself. No one else is going to do it for them. The real help has to be taken by the person.

Few more Milton Berle Quotes...

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

In a committee, decisions are taken by people for a very long time. The meetings stretch for about hours. However, what is to be noticed is how the minutes of the meeting are made later. They are just a hoax since already a lot of time getting wasted.

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's inconvenient.

Poverty is not at all a disgrace. It's just inconvenience that it causes, which later afflicts us. It's not something that will be disrespectful to your social status. It's just that you will have to compromise on your emotions a lot.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

After you have moved past someone and don't even remember their name, you only have an experience that can enlighten you. Experience is the best way to sink in things that seem or look painful. It's the most beautiful way to forget painful memories.

There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer.

There's a wide difference between a comic and a comedian. A comic is just a person who will say funny things but leaves no deep impact. Yet a comedian is a person who has a unique style. His personality will leave a deep impact on us. He will speak both funny as well as meaningful things.

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

This is a funny joke that Berle seems to have cracked and used. He says that the company accountant is quite shy and is retiring. That's so because he has a quarter of million dollars, and that's the reason for his retirement.

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

Laughing and living work both ways. You live to laugh and giggle over small beautiful things. Yet you also laugh to live because it's a great way to live life and do things that give us happiness. Laughter can make our boring life easy to live.

Some more Milton Berle Quotes...

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

This is a funny quote that reaffirms how jogging can work miraculously. Berle's doctor must have told him that jogging could add years to his life. However, he funnily remarks that only those years were added whence he felt ten years older already. This means that jogging helped him look positively ten years down the future.

I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it.

Berle is perhaps saying that he has a lot of jokes to crack. So much so that he has almost 4 million jokes that are cross-indexed and can be found anywhere. If ever someone asks him to crack a joke, he can do it on any theme.

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.

Now and later don't have a lot of difference. You can easily turn later into now without really doing a thing. For say if you wanted to buy something in future and you do it now, you're later becoming now quite quickly.

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

This is a witty remark on the state of office computers that exist in any workspace. In offices, the general work scenario is such that mistakes are shifted from one person to another. This creates a whole lot of confusion. Funnily, if the office computer makes a mistake and shifts the blame on others, it would make office space all the funnier.

Continue reading some more Milton Berle Quotes...

Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it.

Comedians have to do work in such a way that the timing of their jokes just hits the audience at that moment itself. The jokes should be such that they would press everyone to see and listen to the comedians performing. They should grasp attention. Comedians should take risks.

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

Filing income tax returns helps you look at your financial situation. This process can make you realise the amount of money you have to pay. However, if you have no income, that blankness can leave you numb and make you wonder why don't you have a good income.

People say I owe a lot to television. The fact is I was a star long before television. What TV made me is unemployed.

People must have said to Berle that he owed a lot to the television. However, he is here admitting the truth that he was very famous much before the television itself. He is rather saying that television made him all the more unemployed.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places

Money can certainly not buy happiness, yet it can do wonders by making you look for it in smaller spaces. Money is the means via which you can buy clothes, shoes, jewellery etc. which can further make you feel happy. Money can never alone give you happiness.


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