Every relationship has Ups and downs in life, and sometimes it becomes impossible to sustain since jealousy brings barriers to love. Little jealousy is good for any relationship but when it takes a larger form, it becomes a problem. What then becomes tough is unconditional love and compassion since jealousy creates tension every time. With the feeling of jealousy, you cannot give the freedom to live to your partner and cannot live your life to the fullest. So, let us look at a more profound impact on how to create a healthy relationship dynamic.
Examine your insecurities
The feeling of jealousy can look like self-esteem issues when you start comparing yourself to others. A clinical psychologist Paul Greene says that jealousy is based on a fear of rejection, and one must try to confront that fear. All the positive things you bring to a relationship and all the things you are told by your partner should be remembered by you. Your partner is choosing you, to be with you, to make things work and that is enough! The comparisons will just make you feel worse, and those are not even necessary.
Do not force your insecurities on your partner. Whatever is the cause just look at the solution and that will help you how to stop being jealous in a relationship. You will then be able to find lasting relief. Listing your insecurities will help you to a great extent. Remember that you are not making this list out of shame but just because you are owning your role.
Ask what your jealousy is about
Psychology today provides a family therapist view and according to him rather than looking at jealousy as a problem, look at it as a solution. Jealousy is like an opportunity through which we can gain clarity. Instead of avoiding jealous behaviour, seek to understand it first. If jealousy is because of the trust that your partner broke, then trust is the real problem. Your insecurities need attention if you are projecting them on to your partner.
There is a harmful section of competition that needs to be eliminated if your partner's success is making you jealous. No matter whatever the cause is you just need to focus on the solution. You should know probably that what insecurities are making you jealous.
Analyze the trust issues
Consider that you have not worked through insecurities from a past relationship, then it may show up in your current relationship in the form of your behaviour. If there is jealousy in a relationship, it can bring underlying issues to the bottom. Commit yourself and be accountable that you will address your insecurities or the issues that lead to jealousy. Before complaining and fighting, think about the initial memories of your relationship. Think about the fact that after so much of quarreling your partner is not willing to give up. It is as important to be sensible as it is to be practical. Personal and professional life should go parallel.
Be honest with your partner
Speak up about what is hurting you. Communication may find a solution. Instead of blaming each other for small things, try to restart the things and analyze the mistakes. Do not compare yourself with a celebrity and do not act immature. Staying quiet would also not work, and speaking harshly can never provide a solution.
Always be honest with your partner, never speak a lie or hide things as this will only affect your relationship in a negative way and may lead to frequent fights. You should always practice effective communication, acknowledge your contribution, and hold your ego back. This will allow them to support you towards a solution. Seek help from a trustworthy friend who would help to find a solution.
Build coping skills
If you do not have healthier ways to communicate, then it may become hard to cope up with jealousy and related issues in a relationship. Your partner doesn't need to be giving you a reason to be suspicious as sometimes this may also be a result of a tame source or even overthinking: practice yoga, exercise, and self-care to nurture your physical, mental, and emotional health.
Keep your health as your priority. Always keep soft communication as it will become the norm and replace jealousy. Unless your partner is flirting with others or is being obnoxious, it is normal to find other people attractive. Do not over expect rather, develop realistic expectations and remember that you should not control someone else's behaviour.
Cold behaviour would only create problems. Stay calm and have an open and honest conversation. No matter how tired and cliche it may sound, but communication is important. Take small steps to work on yourself and overcome this internal battle. If you find a solution, share it with your partner and explain to them how you feel about it. They need to know what is making you uncomfortable and creating boundaries for you and your partner.
Take time to initiate and to learn that dispute is not a problem, but the resolution is! If you two are not able to find a solution together, then talk with a friend or a professional. Sometimes silly mistakes create big problems. To carry sensitive and vulnerable feelings, it takes strength and courage, but if you are consistent in this, then, change and personal growth will be your rewards.
Trust your partner
If you want a happy and successful relationship, then you will have to trust your partner. Before that, it is also necessary that you trust yourself and generate self-confidence. If your partner is loyal, then no one can control him, and he will end up loving you always. Recognize his ways of meeting and greeting other people. But it does not mean that you cannot question him if you think you can see the red flags. If it happens, do not unnecessarily stretch the relationship and try to avoid them.
Building trust is hard then breaking it, but once it is built between the two, no one ever can break it as it is known and said that good things take time to build. If you are able to manage difficult circumstances, you will feel confident.
Try avoiding jealousy unless you are certain that your partner is cheating. Practice self-care techniques, hang out with friends and feel better about yourself. Whenever you feel jealous, try with these tactics, and you will find that managing the feelings becomes easier. Remember, your partnership will suffer if you keep up the same behaviour of being jealous, and this can never be important than your relationship. Being honest with yourself and your partner is the most important thing if you try and work up on this, the feelings will someday be replaced, but if you lie to each other and hide certain things, then you are breaking the trust. After all, love is about commitment, compatibility, and faith.
Co-author: Shraddha Thuwal
Shraddha Thuwal is the author of the book "Let us Conquer over weakness". She is a blogger, and her work has been published in various anthologies. By writing, she aims to reach out to people, create awareness and create a positive impact globally.